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army resumix resume Your Federal resume can be your most powerful tool for loop showcasing the purposes essay, value you offer to single circulation potential employers. We help you make it EASY to get hired! Narrative statements such as Knowledge, Skills, and the knight Abilities (KSAs), Mandatory Technical Qualifications (MTQs), and single circulation Executive Core Qualifications (ECQs) typically address key qualifications relevant to a specific vacancy or job series. Industrial Russia! Executive roles will generally require ECQs and MTQs with your applications; other vacancies will generally request narratives in single circulation, subsequent stages of the hiring process. Essay The Value! Your responses to these questions are graded and can be critical to single the success of figurative language your Federal application. We can produce federal resumes that are free of military jargon and include key information such as responses to single loop KSAs. Well also help you prepare a resume that is compatible with USAJOBS. If you have identified a specific job announcement, we are ready to Different write your resume according to specific instructions, duties,and minimum qualifications found in single loop circulation, the job announcement. Revolution! We will first write a presentation version of single your resume and then, at no extra charge, convert the figurative language in romeo and juliet, resume to loop circulation meet announcement parameters. Turnaround time is Types, usually 7 business days from time of loop initial telephone consultation.

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Peace Corps / AmeriCorps VISTA Volunteers If you are a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer, you will need to provide your Description of single loop circulation Service (DOS) to claim non-competitive eligibility for federal jobs. AmeriCorps VISTA volunteers need to Essay on A Solution to Weak and Failed States provide a copy of single loop your Service Letter to of education essay apply for non-competitive positions. Persons with Disabilities (Schedule A) To verify eligibility for employment under the loop circulation, Schedule A hiring authority, you must provide proof of disability issued by Essay States, a licensed medical professions, a licensed vocational rehabilitation specialist, or any federal agency, state agency, or an single circulation agency of the District of language in romeo Columbia, or U.S. Circulation! territory that issues or provides disability benefits. Education - We will include: college name, city, state, zip code, majors, type and year of degrees held or number of semester hours completed, and high school name, city, state, zip code, and in romeo and juliet date of single circulation your diploma or GED, if requested. Veterans Keep in mind that your military training may count towards qualifications. We will use your Verification of Jane Eyre's Essay Military Experience and Training (VMET) document (DD Form 2586) to document your training and education. Single Circulation! Work experience We will include all relevant experience. Different Types Essay! It is common for federal resumes to be longer than average, so do not cut out important details to try to loop fit your resume to one to two pages. A good federal resume should clearly outline your key work, volunteer experiences, academic accomplishments as well as extra-curricular activities. It should also highlight the unique skills that set you apart and tales make you uniquely qualified for single the position.

We will sudy the Jane, job opportunity announcement and single loop emphasize the parts of Different Types Essay your work history that match the qualifications listed there. Remember, human resources specialists might not be familiar with your career field. To help them understand how your experience matches what is required for single loop circulation the vacant position, we make sure to essay describe your experience in laymens terms. Single Circulation! Most importantly, we will describe job duties and accomplishments in Different Cells, a way that demonstrates how you are qualified. Loop! Current job-related certificates and who was licenses. Job-related honors, awards, special accomplishments, leadership activities, memberships, or publications. Once we have spell checked your resume, we take a good look at its overall appearance to make sure it is single loop, appealing and easy to who was battles read, there is single loop circulation, enough white space, the purposes of education, margins are appropriate and the headings, font and formatting style been used effectively.

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Want to Install Elementary OS? 7 Reasons Why You Should! Making Your Own Website: Your Career Will Thank You Later. Previously, we beat to death every single excuse/myth/misconception that there is about creating a personal website You Are Missing Out By Not Creating A Personal Website: Disproving The 6 Myths You Are Missing Out By Not Creating A Personal Website: Disproving The 6 Myths Have you ever considered having a personal website? You know a place where people can go to read about single loop who you are, what you do, your goals and purposes essay aspirations, and single of course to contact.

Read More . You no have no reason not to have one. However, you may still be wondering how making your own website could really benefit you. In January, I wrote an article about Jane Characterization Essay why it’s crucial to have a professional online presence Creating A Professional Online Presence Is Crucial For Today's Job Market: Here's How Creating A Professional Online Presence Is Crucial For Today's Job Market: Here's How Let’s face it, the job market is becoming more and more competitive. No matter where you live, getting noticed is becoming more and more difficult. Employers are now going towards the online application process, limiting. Read More and single how to do it, where I mentioned the Eyre's Development With importance of having a personal website. A personal website is probably one of the single circulation biggest aspects of your online presence. Sure other areas such as social networks and figurative language in romeo and juliet blogs are important, but your website is single loop, like a home base a hub that everything branches off from.Let’s now explore some reasons how just such a website will benefit you tremendously. Your Website Is Like a Living Resume, But More Dynamic. Comparing your website to your resume, is almost insulting to your website.

Although you can create an awesome resume Your All-In-One Guide To Building The Perfect Resume Your All-In-One Guide To Building The Perfect Resume Whether you just graduated, are returning to school or are looking for industrial revolution russia, a new job, within or outside your career, you need a resume. But not just a resume. You need a great resume. One. Read More , a website is so much more than that. Single! First, it can be whatever you want it to be.

Where a resume is typically supposed to be in With Characterization Essay, a certain format, except for single loop circulation, creative types Two Easy Ways To Create Visual Infographics Of Your Résumé Two Easy Ways To Create Visual Infographics Of Your Résumé Creative jobseekers are always searching for new ways to distinguish themselves to Development With Essay, potential employers. Single! One of the With Characterization quickest ways to do this is to make your résumé stand out from the crowd. Once you've got. Read More , a website can be in any format, have any theme, and contain any content. You can use it to display your hobbies and interests; your professional success and single circulation goals; a portfolio of Essay on A Solution, your photography, projects or other work; and many other interesting things such as The Impossible List, a complete life bio, or simply share your outlook on loop, life. Your Website Is Your Ultimate “Online Profile” In line with the previous point, your website is the ultimate way to represent yourself online. Types Essay! Sure there are your social networks, or even your blog The Art Of Creating A Successful Blog Tips From The Pros [Feature] The Art Of Creating A Successful Blog Tips From The Pros [Feature] In an effort to understand the magic ingredients that make up the recipe of a successful website, I went out in search of single loop circulation, successful bloggers that have formed popular, profitable websites. Essay! The fruits of that.

Read More , but your own website, especially a self-hosted site, is far more effective in loop circulation, communicating to potential employers, customers, and business partners about who you are. However, self-hosted websites certainly aren’t the only way to go. Previously we mentioned some online tools that you can use to Jane Development With, easily create a website The Easiest Ways To Make A Personal Website Without Any Coding Skills The Easiest Ways To Make A Personal Website Without Any Coding Skills There are so many reasons for everyday people to have their own website these days, such as building a professional profile or having a showcase space for a home business. Whatever your reasoning is for. Read More without the need for circulation, tinkering with WordPress. Websites like About.me allow you to design your own landing page with ease.

Other websites like Weebly allow you to create a whole website. Language And Juliet! In addition, you could still purchase a domain name Creating A Professional Online Presence Is Crucial For Today's Job Market: Here's How Creating A Professional Online Presence Is Crucial For Today's Job Market: Here's How Let’s face it, the loop job market is becoming more and industrial revolution more competitive. Loop Circulation! No matter where you live, getting noticed is becoming more and and juliet more difficult. Employers are now going towards the online application process, limiting. Loop! Read More so you can have a nice clean URL like example.com instead of example.weebly.com or about.me/example. Again, I encourage you to on A Solution to Weak States, look into using WordPress it’s not difficult (which I used to single circulation, think so), but if you are set on other options, here’s a list of websites that you might want to consider: Your Website Helps You Become More Discoverable. More and more people are using the Internet to find people, and figurative and juliet more about single loop circulation them than what they may have already known. Jane Eyre's With Characterization! The number of people who have personal websites in lieu of loop, other social profiles is quite low.

What’s my point? My point is Essay, that if someone searches your name in Google, you have a much higher chance of being discovered. Circulation! Plus, it also decreases the purposes of education chances that someone else with your same name could misrepresent you in some way and potentially hurt your integrity. In the image above, you can see that my website is number two in the search results in between a Twitter account and a website of single, two different people, my online namesakes. In fact, all three of us are on Twitter and do some sort of writing or blogging.

So there’s a possibility that someone could mix us up. This is why it’s important to ensure you “claim your name” online and represent yourself professionally. Your Website Improves Your Credibility and industrial revolution russia Helps You Stand Out. To expand on what I was saying in loop, the previous section, a website also makes you more credible and allows you to and juliet, stand out amongst the crowd and competition. Have you ever asked your friends, classmates, or colleagues about how many of them have their own personal website? It’s likely that your having a website will make you a rarity among them.

This is likely to change in the coming years, but for now, you should take advantage of the fact that not everyone represents themselves online as well as they could. Now, does this mean that by having a website you’re guaranteed to single loop circulation, beat out language and juliet, those who don’t? Of course not, it also depends on your skill set, experiences, education and single so on. But it will certainly give you an edge by showing your dedication and career focus, which is my next point. Your Website Shows Your Dedication and industrial revolution Career Focus. As you sculpt your career, you add experience after experience under your belt. A website is the single loop perfect place to share those experiences through both text and pictures. Language In Romeo! You can use this as a tool to single loop circulation, show people in the same line of work what you do. It’s one thing to have it on purposes essay, a resume, or even talk about it in person, but for them to read about it and single loop circulation see photos or videos of your accomplishments, that’s where you can really benefit from the who was involved battles of lexington and concord power of a resume. Loop Circulation! It enables people whom you may have never even met to connect with you in a way that they’ve never been able to before. We have not only disproved the myths of not having a website You Are Missing Out By Not Creating A Personal Website: Disproving The 6 Myths You Are Missing Out By Not Creating A Personal Website: Disproving The 6 Myths Have you ever considered having a personal website?

You know a place where people can go to read about Different Types of Stem Essay who you are, what you do, your goals and aspirations, and single of course to contact. Revolution! Read More , but also provided you five solid reasons for single circulation, having one. Different Essay! You can see now how not having a website can really set you back professionally. In the loop circulation midst of all the competitiveness these days, no matter which career path you choose, it’s crucial that you set yourself apart from the Development With Characterization rest. Now, a website certainly isn’t the only thing you need you need good references, some solid experience, potentially an single, education, and proficient skills in your area of purposes, expertise. Loop Circulation! But how do you communicate that?

Through a website of course! Now that you have the motivation and reason to start working on making your own website, all you need to do is to revolution russia, make a get rolling. When you’re finished, feel free to share your website development journey with us. We also welcome any of your thoughts on how to single loop circulation, create a personal website effectively. Have you created one prior to who was involved battles of lexington, this series of articles? If so, what moved you to do so?

If you’re still on the fence or have any questions concerning a website, I’m more than happy to help shoot us your comments below! Another great option for personal branding is Two Way Resume (twowayresume.com). Very easy to use and you can get up and single loop circulation running quickly! Great article! I am a computer teacher for Middle school students(7th and 8th grade) and I am teaching them to purposes, create their own pages, which will be updated as they learn and mature and change. Single Loop! This way they have a place to store their work and projects, and skillsets. It's never to russia, early!

We use Weebly, since it is loop circulation, very user friendly. I also have our school newspaper online, with students creating the site on language and juliet, Weebly. These kids are leaving school with more technology knowledge in their pinky than most adults in their whole body! :) We are in a fast changing technological world - get ready! Hi Aaron, a few years late, but your arguments are still relevant. I have just bought my domain. I am Australian, so I have a .com.au domain. This is good because we need an Australian Business Number to single circulation, get a .com.au domain.

I got it mainly to host and OwnCloud server, but on your advice i am also going to in the battles and concord, set up a resume. Thank you - great article. This is great! I've been thinking about getting my own website and this post has definitely inspire me to do so. Thanks! Simply desire to say your article is as astonishing.

I use wix (http://mbuynow.wix.com/home) and weebly (http://mbuynow.weebly.com/). They are very useful tools for building your brand. Loop Circulation! Also, thanks for of Stem Essay, sharing the single circulation list of figurative language in romeo, websites. One caveat I would say goes along with having a personal website, especially if you blog, is to loop circulation, keep it updated. If your last post was over a year ago or links that go no where, it negates any benefits of having a website in the first place. Although I understand what you mean, this isn't necessarily always the case. A personal website can be stagnant as long as the information is mostly current and up to Different, date. Sometimes life gets busy you don't have a chance to single circulation, update it -- I was recently in this position -- I moved across the country, stopped doing some things, and Different Types of Stem Cells started doing others.

In all of that, I didn't update my personal website for weeks (just recently changed it all). A blog is much different -- it is circulation, something that you should post to and juliet, regularly. I personally don't post to my multiple blogs as often as I would like/should. But I don't feel that reflects negatively on single, me as a person -- I'm busy and have a lot going on and although I try to do many things that I enjoy (one being blogging), I also have to put the majority of Jane With Characterization, my efforts towards making money (writing for MUO and doing other freelance gigs). Again, I see where you are coming from and I 100% agree that it's crucial to the life of your blog to post quality and consistent articles. However, I think that most people understand that when articles/info/etc. aren't as current, it usually means more there are more important things going on that you haven't had time to circulation, update the Internet on yet. Thanks for reading the industrial revolution article and for commenting. And feel free to loop circulation, share any additional thoughts. I don't want it to Eyre's Development With Characterization Essay, seem like I'm just shutting you down.

If I missed a point somewhere, you're more than welcome to circulation, point it out. Can you tell me what it is about word press that not only you have recommended, I don't understand why WordPress is better than the of education essay others you listed like WIX ? Thanks for loop, your time. To get an answer from several different people, you should ask this question on on MakeUseOf Answers. Please refer to this article. Thanks for the great article, i need to learn more about web hosting though. What are you wanting to know? I'm not an expert in web hosting, which goes to show that to create a website, you really don't need to have a big understanding of it.

We have put together several articles about different web hosting options, from using Dropbox to Eyre's Development With Characterization Essay, host your website to explaining the single loop various forms of web hosting. Perhaps you could start there. Also, we have a whole page dedicated to the best web hosting services. Thanks for Types of Stem, replying, I will check those link. :) I tried Wix and single loop circulation this is what I came up with. Please let me know what you think! http://cobbbt.wix.com/ben-a-cobb-wedding.

Your link isn't going through for some reason. Russia! Is your website still up? yes I just took the site down. Wix was just too slow for single loop, my liking. I now have a SmugMug site.

Http//:benacobbphoto.smugmug.com/ Ah I see. Very nice! Can someone suggest me good domain names? arshadhasan.com is of lexington and concord, taken and I am not sure which other to choose. I ran into loop, a similar problem.

Ideally, .com is the best, but for a personal site, you might also consider a .me -- for Solution, mine I did aaroncouch.me. Another thought is using a middle initial if you have one. Circulation! Does that help? Will myname.me work with Google Apps? I would think that would work, yes. Arron, You have hit the language and juliet hot button with me! Thanks for reminding me of all the groovy reason to single circulation, have my own site/blog etc. I have hosting have my domain name and do not laugh but I have redone the setup (themes, css, make it all fit) so many times an revolution, tore it down only speaking of the tech stuff I have all my brand and single circulation content but I struggle with the Eyre's Essay set-up of the loop site. I admit it I have tried for figurative in romeo, the last year to set up my own set my domain name is a year old next month I have hosting for three years at HG but I still do not have my site?? I have aff. Single! sites amazon sites you name it but i can not get the themes to do what they are suppose to do. I have paid themes, free WP themes they are all setting online under my domain with nothing on who was in the of lexington and concord, them.

I am lost or better yet overwhelmed with this ME site. Been online 3 years an I am at a stand still cannot sale anymore to offline or online with out finishing this ME site. Single! Please my friend guide me, offer me help, or at least look at what I am talking about? Please I am no dummy but what I want and revolution what the theme wants to do is two different things. I belong to loop circulation, yall have for years but you have hit the purposes of education essay one spot that I can not Techy figure this out. please respond and single tell this Woman in Eyre's Development Characterization, Texas how to fix this so I can go on. Have biz cards, letterhead can not pass out cause it has my domain name for my site which is still not done. Thank you for this article which I recd per email lead me to help my friend. I could even pay something for help.

Hey. Well. Single Circulation! I have always dreamed of having my own website, wordpress.com isn't enough; it was a good springboard, but I am branching out now on my own (scary!). I have my domain and website builder and blogging function but. I haven't got it up and Types of Stem running yet :( It's an info site and that's where the nerves come from as I have got to single loop circulation, get what I am talking about RIGHT!! (I just read your article link on creating a personal website and this comment appiles to Different, both) I know that I want to help people and the past 3-4 years of loop, my working life was doing just that. Essay! So the websites an extension of that - reaching out and single loop sharing extensive knowledge. It's just so nerve wracking.

With the setup, there's a LOT of components I have to get my head around. I have many of the ideas for content and angle written down but, I gotta do the who was in the battles of lexington and concord building (stress!). Do you have any motivational words pertaining to a kick up the rear?? Once I have done it I'll probably look back and think what all the fuss was about! (I've gone with GoDaddy - the cost is quite reasonable) I've owned my own website for single, almost ten years. The ad free environment is the best part. I only wish I knew how to Link my FB page to http://clydelist.com. Glad to see that you've pointed out the obvious SEO benefits :) I've got the involved in the battles of lexington and concord same problem you've got - there's another Thomas Frank out there!

However, he's a famous author who's been on the Colbert Report and single stuff, so it's going to take me quite a few years to step out of his shadow. Great article which may well get me motivated to Essay on A Solution, do this. I like Ucoz as well. It has some annoying features but that's just me being picky: for example, a free website can have its own list of single circulation, users (profiles and everything) but their accounts can't be local (they have to register with Ucoz, though it's free and doesn't sign them up for webspace) but on the other hand, hey--free website can actually have its own user community! Webs offers something similar, I believe, but unlike Webs, Ucoz starts you off with 440 MB space. I have the Types Cells domain name, but no idea how to make it into single loop circulation, a web site. I could build a web site using wordpress but then it would be example.wordpress.com so it wouldnt use my domain. The article is industrial, great, just need some gaps filling in. Thanks, Mike -- I've been in loop, your EXACT same shoes.

The solution isn't WordPress.COM, but WordPress.ORG. Purposes! Here is the guide that I used and it helped tremendously: http://collegeinfogeek.com/personal-website/ I think it'll help you too! I'm happy to help you in any way I can. Thanks for the info link. Looks like I have made it a lot harder by buying the loop domain name without the hosting.

The article linked recommends HostGator, but as I am in the UK I guess I need to do my own research here. There are a lot to choose from it is hard to know what might work ok be good value. The site I need will be only a few pages not expect much traffic so I am hoping the costs will be minimal. Sorry for the late response. You might start by looking at our Best Of Web Hosting page. Keep me posted on the progress of your website and Jane Eyre's Development Characterization Essay if you need any further help! And as always, MakeUseOf Answers is a great place to get questions answered as well.

Recently i found very unique website builder - http://www.webzai.com. You should try it , this is an single circulation, amazing website creation tool. Oh very cool Dan! Thanks for sharing :) I am working one now (WIX) and hope to be up soon! Nice post!

Thanks! Feel free to share your website with us whenever you complete it! Still on the public fence - dealing with it off line but hope to get public before the summer. this a great piece of info, i will surely look into it and have a website of my own, it would look cool on the business card that i have a personal website. great stuff Aaron keep it up! Absolutely! I love having it on my resume, and I am working (slowly :S) on my business cards, which I plan on putting my website on as well.

Glad to help! Let me know if I can assist in any other way :) Shortly i am also goign to purcahse new domain with my name. Very cool! Be sure to involved in the battles, share your website with us once you complete it! Good stuff, friend.

There's another Josh Lockhart out there. It's why I go by Joshua now. : / This is a really informative post, on my way to wix. Aaron is a Vet Assistant graduate, with his primary interests in wildlife and single technology. He enjoys exploring the outdoors and involved and concord photography. Single Circulation! When he's not writing or indulging in technological findings throughout the of education essay interwebs, he can be found bombing down the mountainside on his bike. Read more about loop Aaron on his A Solid Mid-Range Phone: The Moto G5 Plus (Review and russia Giveaway)

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3 Rules to single, Write World-Changing Memoir. I love memoir, always have. Anne Lamott, David Sedaris, Annie Dillard, even Stephen King. There#8217;s something magical about the ability to transform ordinary circumstances into beautiful scenes that teach a deeper truth. Photo by Christian Gonzalez. Twenty years ago, it seemed the only people qualified to write memoir were the incredibly famous and Essay States the I#8217;m-so-disgustingly-rich-I#8217;d-better-write-a-book elite. The rest of us had better keep our mouths shut or turn our life#8217;s story into a novel. But recently, more #8220;normal#8221; people are writing powerful reflections on everyday life.

So what#8217;s to single circulation, stop you and industrial revolution me from joining them? This logic led me to circulation, write my second trade book, a memoir. Involved Battles Of Lexington. While writing it, I learned a few important lessons about writing that apply to loop circulation, anyone wanting to communicate a true story. Here are my three #8220;rules#8221; of of education, writing memoir: The biggest mistake you can make in telling your story is to tell it all. To expose every detail and explain every aspect of what happened. Single Circulation. To tell us every word everyone said. The problem is Development With Characterization our stories are rarely as interesting as we think. As my writing mentor Marion says, #8220;Just because it happened doesn#8217;t make it interesting.#8221; Your memories always mean more to single loop circulation, you than they do to other people. So what do you do? Bend the Development With Characterization Essay truth?

Change details? Lie? Of course not. Instead, you must be deliberate. Cut every scene, every detail, every piece of dialogue that doesn#8217;t drive the story forward and loop circulation isn#8217;t directly connected to your central theme. All great writing is thematic. Behind every compelling story, every memorable movie, every interesting documentary is a theme. This is especially true with memoir.

What is a theme? It#8217;s a universal idea we all grapple with, something anyone can understand. Good themes remind us of what is Types of Stem right and good and true in the world or at least, what we would like to be. A few examples of good themes are: Courage in the face of opposition The conflict between mercy and justice A parents loving sacrifice. The thing you cannot do when writing memoir is tell a bunch of stories. On the surface, that#8217;s what memoir appears to loop, be, but its more than that.

Good narrative nonfiction always connects the reader#8217;s heart to a deeper truth. Don#8217;t make the mistake of thinking memoir is industrial revolution autobiography. It#8217;s not. Memoir is about something bigger than you. Single Circulation. It#8217;s about Essay on A Solution and Failed States a part of life we can all connect to. Ironically, the way you accomplish is by focusing on single circulation, the small, seemingly insignificant details. Where were you when you realized you were going to who was involved in the battles, be a parent? What flavor of gum was your boyfriend chewing when he proposed? These are the circulation details that mean the most to all us and what make us connect with you, so you can take us somewhere else.

A good piece of memoir begins with the author#8217;s perspective but doesn#8217;t end there. Who Was Battles. It leaves the readeroften implicitlywith a decision to single circulation, make or action to take. Jane Eyre's With Characterization. When millions of college students read Blue Like Jazz , they had a framework for processing their faith in a postmodern world. Thousands began living more adventurously after reading Eat, Pray, Love . And after finishing Same Kind of Different As Me , I was compelled to spend more time on the streets with the less-fortunate. Good memoir is powerful. Single Loop. It can change lives, if you make it personal not just for you, but for the reader. You know you#8217;ve done your job when a reader finishes your story about growing up in the Midwest and tells you it reminded her of summers spent in Maine with Grandma. Great writers work their way into our hearts by being vulnerable, sharing the ugliest parts of language in romeo, their story, the loop parts any normal person would prefer to hide. (Tweet that?) And that#8217;s what makes them so believable. Ever notice how self-effacing Anne Lamott can be, how crude David Sedaris sometimes is?

There#8217;s a reason for that. They know their first job is to earn our trust. And the best way to Development With Characterization, do that is to single loop, embarrass themselves, to expose their humanity. How else will we believe them? If you are going to write memoir, if you are going to share a story that matters, then you must be willing to do the thing that so few people are willing to do. You must be human, at once whole and Cells incomplete. And if you do this well and loop circulation honestly, we just might let you share some deeper truth. What do you look for of education essay, in a good memoir? Its time for you to write your memoir. Now that you know good narrative nonfiction is about more than where you were or what you were doing, you must pick a theme and begin telling your story.

So lets start: Pick a theme for your memoir. What will it be about? Forgiveness? Justice? Redemption? Overcoming fear? Choose something that is true for circulation, you and will be for revolution russia, others. Single Circulation. Choose a scene in the story that is interesting, that drives the theme in some way. Write that scene, sharing personal details but also universal truths.

Shoot for 250 750 words (max). Post your work in the comments section. And if you post, please be sure to leave feedback for Types of Stem Essay, a few other writers. Check out Jeff#8217;s new book, The In-Between , a memoir about how to not waste our times of waiting. Find out more at inbetweenbook.com. Great advice, Jeff!

I#8217;m going to loop circulation, work on writing something now. I#8217;ve always hesitated to do it, but you#8217;ve challenged me once again! #128578; Loved the book. Tammy, thanks for Different, sharing this with us in the writers group. This is very helpful. And awesome job with your interview of Jeff Goins on your podcast today! So cool. Thanks for always stepping up and going for loop, it, Tammy. Thanks for this post, Jeff I feel as though I know you from in the battles reading your blog posts. Am looking forward to your memoir and will order today!

This post is near and circulation dear to my heart because altho I never planned it, I wrote a memoir in the form of letters to a friend who was dying of cancer I didn#8217;t know what to give her so sent her pieces of my life, one letter at a time. The letters went around the world and Thomas Nelson published them in a book called #8220;Dear Deb, A Woman with cancer, a Friend with Secrets and the Letters that Became Their Miracle#8221;. Since it wasn#8217;t a planned memoir, I didn#8217;t have a clue about Different Types of Stem Essay theme until I turned the letters into circulation the book and learned that the theme is a search for love and the surprising ways and Development With Characterization places I discovered it. Guess you can deduce now that I#8217;m the loop circulation one with the who was involved of lexington secrets#8230;here is one of them: In 1998, my friend Sarah and I were in England on a walking tour. Before we started the six-day guided hike of the Cornwall Coast, we spent a few days sightseeing in London. Single Loop Circulation. Stop! I cried over the groan of the cheery double decker bus that had pulled up in front of Different of Stem, us. I yanked on Sarahs sleeve. Loop Circulation. I have to go back. I forgot to do something, and its really important! We had just finished a three-hour tour of revolution, Westminster Abbey, the famed seven-hundred-year-old Gothic cathedral in loop circulation, the heart of London. I left the tour tired yet hungry for more.

Walking the Jane Development With Essay floor of the Abbey was more exciting than walking the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Bob Hopes and Charlie Chaplins hand prints couldnt compare to standing. over the graves of Darwin and Dickens. Did you leave your purse in the washroom again? Sarah covered her mouth with her hand as the oversized bus coughed toward Big Ben.No . . . I have to go back to light a candle for circulation, my mom. Id been lighting candles for Mom in every church Ive visited since I was sixteen years old. Sarah was aware of her mood disorders and my roller-coaster relationship with her illness. She had seen me get caught in Moms web of pain and Different Essay delusions more than once and how long it took me to free myself from it. For most of my life, I believed I could love her all better. But my love was a bandage that never stuck for long. The first time I lit a candle for Mom was during a grade twelve field trip to loop, Ste. Anne de Beaupre in Quebec. Figurative Language In Romeo And Juliet. When the tour guide walked us through the massive copper doors of the towns basilica, she began the single loop circulation tour by. pointing out the stained glass windows showering multicolored. stars on of education essay, the pews.

My classmates oohed and aahed over the light spectacle, but my eyes were riveted on the pair of towering stone columns near the loop entrance. They were adorned with crutches, canes, and braces. Hundreds. of them were piled on top of each other, left behind by involved in the battles and concord, people who walked away after being healed, each battered walking stick proof of loop, a miracle. I thought if God could help people walk, he might be able to help people be happy.

People like my mom. Purposes Of Education. Seriously, Sarah . . Single Loop Circulation. . Ive lit candles and said prayers for essay, Mom everywhere Ive ever traveled. Loop. From chapels in country villages to St. Development With Characterization. Peters in Rome. I even lit one in that manger church in loop circulation, Bethlehemremember I was there in 1982? My stomach growled loud enough to hear over the London traffic. We had been on our way to on A States, a pub for circulation, fish and chips. Of Stem Cells. So go back. Sarah plopped down on the bench in front of the bus stop. Ill wait right here. She patted the bench like it was one of her treasured pets. Oh, never mind, I muttered. Lets go eat. I sat down beside her in the space she had patted. When I think of all those churches and all those candles, it feels like such a waste now. I looked up at the sky.

The sun was making another attempt to worm its way out of the single loop circulation ashen ceiling that had hung over the city since we arrived. I mean, what difference has it made, Sarah? You. Purposes Of Education Essay. know how she is . . . Sarah nudged my shoulder with hers. Have you ever thought about how shed be if you hadnt? Nice dialog, nice details. The ending was moving. thanks, James means a lot! Already I can tell Sarah feels like someone I could be friends with. The easy, personable tone and character details make for a relaxed but vivid reading experience, leaving the reader thinking, #8216;I#8217;ll just read another couple of pages#8217; that#8217;s when you know you#8217;ve hooked #8217;em. Loop Circulation. thx! And you are right about Sarah, an incredible friend whose calm and battles and concord wisdom I continue to count on#8230; Thanks, Margaret.

I really appreciate that. Great essay! This story tugs at the heart all the way through, Margaret. #8221; . . . my love was a bandage that never stuck for long.#8221; Wanting so badly to help but finding it beyond your power. The dialog between the two friends rings very true. Single Loop. Good writing. Different Types Of Stem. Thanks, John. I appreciate your comments! It was the single loop circulation laugh that did it. It made the hairs prickle on the back of my neck and essay told my seven-year-old sensibilities something wasn#8217;t right.

I was to hear it often growing up and it was always a signal that things were headed in a bad direction; eliciting a Pavlovian unease deep within me whenever its duplicitous joviality filled the air. It was lunchtime. Single. On the farm we took our main meal in the middle of the day, the hard physical labor demanded substantial re-fuelling the likes of which a sandwich or plate of cold-cuts couldn#8217;t deliver. The kitchen was warm and welcoming; the stove, nestled in her alcove gently heating the bottoms of the two huge steel kettles that lived on her hotplate, circulated the aroma of a hearty cooked meal like a binding promise. I eyed the door to the oven suspiciously the memory of my mother#8217;s explosive attempt at rice pudding still was vivid, the alarming BANG mid-meal the siren of a surprise gone wrong. Figurative Language In Romeo And Juliet. I needn#8217;t have worried. Today#8217;s meal would be marked by an outburst of a different nature. Single Loop Circulation. I took my place next to my father at the rectangular pine table that abutted the wall, fingertips braille-reading the industrial revolution russia scarred yellowed surface while I waited for my plate to single circulation, be put in language in romeo and juliet, front of single, me. The scent of the outdoors still clung to Essay and Failed, his overalls and made me eager for the meal to be over single circulation so I could run out and play. My legs swung impatiently beneath the table.

My mother laid our plates before us, and sat down opposite and Failed States, me to eat. Quiet ensued and minutes passed as we blunted our hunger. Loop. I watched condensation fog the inside of the window-pane behind her as I chewed and swallowed. Figurative In Romeo And Juliet. Comments were exchanged but I wasn#8217;t listening I was thinking of exploring the mound up by the paddock and visualizing the single loop path I would take to scale it. Types Of Stem Cells Essay. I took no notice of the adult conversation until loud laughter brought me back to the table.

I thought I#8217;d missed a joke but the dialogue seemed at circulation, odds with the levity. Purposes Of Education Essay. Oddly high-pitched and mirthless, my father smilingly cajoled my mother to confess to poisoning his food. Why wont you just admit it? he wheedled with a forced geniality that seemed out of sync with his line of questioning. Circulation. Like someone wearing headphones, every utterance was abnormally loud. I know theres something in essay, it. Single Circulation. Just tell me. What did you put in it? As I waited for the punchline that never came I was suddenly, brutally aware I was sitting next to Different of Stem Cells Essay, a man I didn#8217;t know.

I didn#8217;t need to look at single loop, him to know a stranger had usurped his body, indeed I intuitively kept my gaze fixed on my dinner plate. An animal instinct told me it was best to of Stem Essay, be invisible. His behavior was artificial; a saccharine coating, intended to mask something sinister, like the banana-flavored medicine with the nasty aftertaste I had when I got chickenpox. Throughout her repeated denials my mother kept her tone light insisting she had no idea what he was talking about, but still the atmosphere was uncomfortable, even to a child, the air heavy with tension the way it is when a thunderstorm approaches. Single Loop Circulation. I was glad when the meal was over and I could escape. I played on the mound all afternoon until it grew dark and I had no choice but to go inside for Jane Eyre's, tea. I didn#8217;t know it then, but I#8217;d had my first significant brush with mental illness. wow, this is an intense scene with a lot of single circulation, tension am unsure if the writing made it so fast paced or that I identified with the fear of the first line about the laugh, but I had to read it again because the first time I rushed through it. On A Solution States. Some beautiful lines here like: #8220;my fingertips braille-reading the single scarred yellowed surface while I waited for my plate to be put in front of Solution and Failed, me#8221; . Nice work. (btw I can relate so much my mother#8217;s first series of single circulation, electro shock treatments for multiple personality disorders began in the late 1950#8217;s when I was six years old) Margaret nailed it below. In The Battles. Though, I didn#8217;t tend to speed through it, I did feel the single loop circulation tension.

I loved the essay #8220;banana-flavored medicine#8221; detail. Well told! This is a powerful piece seen through the eyes of a child. Wonderful phrases, #8220;hairs prickling on the back of my neck#8221;, #8220;circulating the aroma like a binding promise#8221;, #8220;condensation fogged the loop circulation inside of the window,#8221; air heavy with tension like an of Stem Essay approaching thunderstorm.#8221; Thanks for sharing a poignant memory. #8220;#8230;.eliciting a Pavlovian unease deep within me whenever its duplicitous joviality filled the air.#8221; Your words are powerful. I wish there was more. I love how you describe everything! Ooh#8230; really good! I love the lede: #8220;it was the loop circulation laugh that did it.#8221; I was immediately hooked!

Amazing detail! Definitely had me hooked from the start and who was involved battles and concord the detail made me feel as if I were experiencing what you were experiencing. Good job! You succeed at putting the loop circulation reader inside the room with apt description of sights, sounds, smells. I like your designation of the oven as #8220;her#8221; #8212; suggestive of the Types Cells Essay womb, and whose memorable expulsion in single, the past had been explosive. It helps to build the ominous mood, complete with outward attempts to #8220;keep it light#8221; by the mother. This is good writing! I was holding my breath on this one#8230;it was triggering. Great writing!

Wow. Just wow. That is amazing!! As someone who grew up with a father and stepfather both with mental illness I could immediately relate! I want to read more! I just came across this site and industrial revolution am amazed#8230;.so much talent! Aisha#8230;I loved your writing and I hope that you continue. Detail really set the scene well and made me want to loop, keep reading. I want to know more!

Good job hooking the reader#8230; So well said and engaging. Everything we want! This is awesome, Jeff. Figurative. I#8217;m in the middle of a memoir of my own and this will be very, very useful. Excellent post on memoir, Jeff! I appreciate all your points, especially the willingness to embrace our vulnerability and humanness in a way that helps the reader connect their own story with our story. Therein lies the transformative power of memoir. I feel like you did that in WRECKED and I am looking forward to reading your memoir. Best wishes! Thanks, Kathy!

That means a lot. Perfect advice mine is coming! Thank you! #SuccessByChoice, my friend! The Wake-Up Call. I had just typed 30 onto the bottom of the page on the. computer screen when my telephone rang. It was my mom. Dad had tried to single loop circulation, hurt. Involved In The Battles Of Lexington. She had managed to escape and run to the pastors house. When she got back home, dad was gone, nobody knew where, and she was filing for. divorce after 32 years. I just listened, not saying too much, stunned because the. fantasy world Id built, the one that said I had had a happy childhood and. everything was fine, had just collapsed under the weight of reality.

It really. had happened the way those haunting nightmares kept trying to remind me. My dad. really was sick. He really did hurt my mother and the fear I had grown up with. Loop. was just as strong now as it was when I was five, huddled under my covers. Industrial. pleading for single, God to make daddy stop throwing mommy around the Jane Development living room. I had never told anyone about what had happened, not even my. Loop Circulation. husband. Jane Development Characterization. Every time I saw people on talk shows talk about growing up in abusive. Single Loop. homes, I was drawn to their conversations, but their tales were always so. dramatic and much more intense than I remembered our lives to purposes essay, be. Id tell. myself, thats not me, and move on with life. Single Loop. Now, everything I thought I had left behind had resurfaced.

There was no hiding it anymore. When a friend, my editor, had written an op ed. memoir in the paper about her alcoholic father for Fathers Day, something told. me I could talk to her. Industrial. Suddenly, the dam burst, and I found myself pouring out. to her everything that had always been hiding in my past. When I was finished, I was surprised at the look on her. face. She was stunned.

She said, that was abuse and single circulation it was wrong. Not sure why the formatting is so strange, but, oh well. This was really vivid and gripping. Purposes Of Education Essay. Directly and unflinchingly told. Which tells of the firm decision to face the reality. The friend#8217;s words at the end are few but direct, and might have been the best thing she could say. It takes courage to face, and then write about, something like this.

I agree with John#8217;s comments below. Well done. It takes not only courage to face the truth of a childhood like this but also a lot of heart work to let go of the shame that isn#8217;t yours to own. I hope you keep writing like this. Sad to circulation, say, but there are many who are unable to stop pretending because the truth of the past it to painful#8230;stories like this helps them let go. Barbara, what you wrote reminded me of what I used to do to cope#8230;compare my situation to situations worse than mine. I remember going to a therapist and purposes essay having him ask, #8220;Did he ever hit you?#8221; I said, #8220;No, not closed fisted.#8221; I#8217;ll never forget the loop circulation knowing look on his face.

I did not recognize it as abuse. Very well done! wow, Linda your comments stirred a powerful memory of involved in the of lexington and concord, how I used to circulation, play #8220;at least#8221; to help cope at least I have my sisters, at least I had food today, at least I have money for bus fare#8230;thx for the reminder! There#8217;s a difference between using this as a way to minimize our pain and just telling ourselves the truth, right? you ask a great question, Linda. Purposes Of Education Essay. Through many years of therapy, one of the things I learned was the difference between sticking my head in the sand (denial) and loop circulation putting the painful thing aside where I could see it, acknowledge it for what it was, but still wasn#8217;t quite ready to deal with it. Took a lot of practice to rid myself of denial since it was a skill I learned to help me survive my childhood. BUT, like you, that skill helped me learn to be grateful as well the trick is involved in the of lexington and concord learning to lose the denial yet hang onto loop the gratitude.

Time and of Stem Cells practice#8230;and accepting that all healing is a process. This is powerful and I wish I could read on. Single Loop Circulation. Very captivating. Details in the beginning were painting a picture, with childhood cries while your dad was sick that made me want to listen. Great post as always, Jeff. Involved In The Battles Of Lexington. You make excellent points about writing memoirs that I hadn#8217;t heard before. Thanks for your insights! You#8217;re welcome, Victoria! Thanks Jeff #8212; this will actually help me as I prepare to preach a sermon in single, first-person (Joseph, from Genesis 37-50) this weekend! Jeff, awesome post as usual!

I didn#8217;t even realize I was writing a memoir until now. Here#8217;s an figurative excerpt: In two days, my daughter turns 18 and the years of memories are flickering through my mind. Remembering when I found out loop circulation I was pregnant at the tender age of 17. Remembering the confusion and concern because I didnt know what to do. Revolution Russia. Remembering the moment when I told my mom because I was too scared to tell my dad his little girl had messed up. I told my mom on my 18th birthday, and single loop circulation up until that day, it was the hardest thing Id ever had to do in my life. My boyfriend was supposed to involved, be with me to loop circulation, tell them but he chickened out at figurative, the last minute.

It should have told me then what I would later find out he was unreliable and selfish. But young love (lust, really) knows no bounds and I ignored the feelings I should have listened to. Now, I sit here in a coffee shop quietly typing these words on single loop, my laptop. Im a writer, as I have been since I could hold a crayon (to my parents detriment think of walls, books, and even vehicles desecrated by my childish scrawls). But, for years I let life get in the way of my dream to be a. The funny thing is Ive been a writer the whole time. I just wasnt writing. Who Was In The Battles Of Lexington And Concord. I used to a long time ago. I used to pour my heart and soul onto circulation paper.

I have never felt comfortable unless I have pen and paper handy, or nowadays a computer. But typing just isnt the same as scratching a pencil or pen across paper, letting words flow from language and juliet your mind, swollen with the desires and creations of your heart and soul at least not to me. But my choices and an unplanned pregnancy sidelined my dreams; dreams of traveling the world and writing about the single circulation interesting people, places, food, culture and so much more. It wasnt even a conscious decision to let the dream go to the wayside. Jane With Essay. It just happened. Circulation. But deep down inside there has always been an intense yearning to write as far back as I can remember. Wow! Tried so hard not to cry. Wish I got more on how you survived#8230;how the Essay and Failed States experience really affected your life and what you#8217;ve been able to loop, do with your life. Guess that#8217;s a suspense I#8217;d have to deal with #128577; Great one there, Rice!

Thank you! Your response means a lot to me because I wasn#8217;t sure if I should even write this about my life. I really thought #8220;who would care?#8221; but I see now that maybe it isn#8217;t true. My teacher reached out her hand and said, You follow your heart. I was an russia 11-year-old fifth grader back then when I found myself in a dilemma. Should I take the acceleration exam or join in the journalism contest which would happen on the same day? The acceleration exam was what my mother wants me to take. If I passed the single circulation exam, I would advance to sixth grade and be ahead of my batch. Id be able to Development Characterization, end grade school faster. Of course, I wouldnt want to disobey my mother.

On the other hand, Ive already loved writing. The journalism contest would give me an opportunity to share my writing to others and to learn more about single loop circulation campus journalism. Language. When I sought for my journalism teachers advice, she smiled. She reached out her hand and said, You follow your heart. In the circulation end, I still took the Types Cells acceleration exam. I wanted to single loop circulation, obey my mother. Luckily, I got very high scores in the first two levels. However, I didnt pass the third level of the exam and so I didnt achieve the Jane acceleration. Circulation. My mother didnt say anything. Russia. I finished fifth grade normally. Single Loop Circulation. When I entered sixth grade, my journalism teacher talked to me again, with the in romeo same smile, and asked if I was in for that years journalism contest.

Without hesitation, following my heart, I told her that I was in. I wrote my sample piece and submitted it to circulation, her. That year, I bagged the second place for the Feature Writing Category among the participants from who was involved battles our citys schools. Although I didnt win in the next level of that contest, I felt the happiest when I graduated from single grade school. That was 2003. Fast forward to 2013, my teachers smile as she reached out who was and concord her hand and her immortal words still resonate to me. I continue to loop circulation, write, keep up a blog, attend writing workshops, and inspire others. I feel happy now all because of in romeo and juliet, one thingI am following my heart. Single Loop. Fatherhood at Niagara Falls. Determined to figurative in romeo and juliet, utilize his free weekend, Tedeau was up early Saturday morning with big plans for shock and awe. Major.

Dad got his troops high and tight with only minimal balking for the early. weekend hour. With Pillowpets, maps, and coffee in tow, our great leader. plotted a course north to see one of the true wonders of America, Niagara. approach to the falls area speaks well to the story of life. We were traveling. along in the car looking on loop, at what seemed to be a peaceful river. Essay. There in the. water, a boundary of peacefulness gave way to loop, turbulence. Eyre's Characterization Essay. The farther we went, the more turbulent the water became. Single Loop Circulation. In the distance, we could see the warning. of a great spray of water several hundred feet high where the Types of Stem Cells Essay fall begins. entire visit to loop, Niagara Falls was a mixture of purposes essay, emotion. We were in utter. amazement of the massive, exhilarating power of the falls, yet nagged by. fear knowing that ultimate danger was mere steps away. I was taken in by the beauty; Tedeau stood watch as protector of his family. He snapped photos with his phone. and sent them to my father, which drew an immediate response of, Thats my.

babies; dont let them get too close to the edge. He sent another message to. his son letting him know how greatly he was missed on single, this adventure. The. response from my daughters message was, you all look so good! apparently not. noticing the waterfall in the background. Bit was thankful that her Daddy had brought her to see the falls, and on A Solution to Weak and Failed very. impressed with the pink sun visor he bought her at the souvenir. shop. Blondie carefully chose a snow globe, wanting to single loop, bring back. items for each of figurative language in romeo, her siblings, wishing they had shared the day. Sonny enjoyed. the fudge, regretting we hadn#8217;t gotten a larger hunk. we looked through the photographs when we got back to single loop circulation, the hotel, the most. noticeable thing to Tedeau and me was the faces that were missing. In this. Solution. fantastically beautiful place, we faced the reality that we are given such a. short time to single, hold our childrens hands, to walk with them, hold them from. danger, allow them to see wonder from the safety of Different Types of Stem Cells, their fathers diligent. grasp. We savor the moments we have been given, and give thanks to our God that. the moments have been so generous in number. I thought of Dad, and his message, Thats my babies; dont let them get. too close to the edge. Smiling, I had a glimpse of my fathers love, because I. Single Loop Circulation. see how my own husband watches both the children and in romeo and juliet the edge. I thought about. my Heavenly Father and the love he described for his children. For I, the LORD. your God, will hold your right hand, saying to circulation, you, Fear not, I will help.

Do fathers ever really stop holding their. childrens hand, moving them from the edge, watching over them? A good Daddy. never will. His love transcends time and distance. Even though. circumstances may bring miles and time between us and our older children, as we navigate the waters of life, love prayers and watchfulness will endure. Industrial. May the LORD watch. between you and me when we are absent one from another. Mizpah Gen 31:49. I enjoyed reading this! It made me think of my dad and how he would hold me so carefully when I was little, such as in the mountains of single loop circulation, Big Bend in industrial revolution russia, south Texas when I was four. #8220;See how small the people are? No, now watch the edge . Single Loop. . . #8221; Your description of purposes, #8220;a good daddy#8221; brought back the realization that I had a good one, too. And your description of all the single loop responses from the others is very real and true-to-life. Language In Romeo. My self-esteem died when I was nineteen, in single, a tiny children#8217;s bookstore on the upper floor of an obscure mall. Nineteen was a strange age to Different Types Cells Essay, beas Britney Spears would put it, not a girl, not yet a woman. At that time I thought I could do anything.

It had always been my dream to work in a bookstore, and single loop when I took the job as a sales assistant, I never expected that I would only be there ten days. On A Solution And Failed States. I remember the rickety shelves of picture books, row after row of them, arranged in such haphazard fashion that no one ever knew where anything was. I remember the way the customers spoke to me as if I were barely subhuman, or perhaps a particularly intelligent species of dog, while their toddlers screamed up and down the aisles. I remember counting and recounting the money in the till at the end of my shift, shaking fingers slipping sweat-slick over the rough paper bills, praying that nothing would be missing. Above all, I remember having a nervous breakdown one night after work with my friends, and passing my tears off as a very bad cold. I remember my shame as I considered resigning thinking that lots of people put up with crappy sales jobs for years, and that I was just thin-skinned and weakand my intense, head-spinning relief when I resigned anyway. At nineteen you think in black and white, and as far as I was concerned, one flop experience spelled the end of all my dreams. My self-image walked into single circulation a funhouse mirror and promptly distorted, taking on such glowing terms as Loser. Coward. Quitter.

Too sensitive. I had screwed up before, but failure had never bitten so deep, and for the first time I contemplated the idea that there were some things I couldn#8217;t do. In hindsight, that was the Characterization year I crossed from single loop circulation girl to womanthe year I first reached out for Essay on A to Weak and Failed States, something and instead bumped my fingertips against my adult limitations, there in that shop where the toddlers screamed and the till always came up short. Very clear and vivid storytelling as you describe the setting and place yourself in it as you were at that age. I had a similar job once and remember the same condescension from some of the customers #8212; and that same fear of my cash drawer not coming out right. Single Circulation. I#8217;d a very fussy boss, and ending up #8220;over#8221; was as bad as coming up #8220;short#8221;. My very shortest time on a job, at a younger age, was less than a day #8212; due to my ineptitude at figurative and juliet, handling the money; but that was a gas station so a bit different. Your writing is very relate-able to the experience of others, and that was one of the main goals here wasn#8217;t it? Good job! The first sentence grabbed me right away.

Powerful image with the children#8217;s bookstore. I felt like I was following Alice down that rabbit hole. Great description of a nineteen year old #8220;you think in black and white#8221;. Single Circulation. The last sentence with #8220;bumped my fingers against my adult limitations#8221; is Eyre's Development With Characterization great writing. Thanks for sharing this#8230; Well said. Great writing! Great first sentence. #8220;My self-esteem died at the age nineteen in a tiny children#8217;s bookstore on the upper floor of an obscure wall.#8221; What a great way to describe it.

And the words #8220;my self-image walked into a funhouse mirror and promptly distorted.#8221; Terrific way to show how it felt. Great writing. I think we#8217;ve all had at least one of these kinds of jobs where there#8217;s little or no training and we feel lost and belittled by customers and especially by the #8220;boss#8221;. Loop. I guess your theme would be the quest for Solution and Failed States, finding your confidence#8230; thanks for sharing, I could relate to all of single, it. Joe, I#8217;m late getting to your blog this evening, and Essay to Weak and Failed States I hesitate to post my practice for the reasons having to do with vulnerability that you mentioned, but this lesson is *exactly* what I needed for what I#8217;m trying to write.

So thank you and loop here goes: (My chosen themes are forgiveness and redemption.) As soon as the security guard appeared at my cubicle and said, #8220;Sir, you#8217;ll have to come with me,#8221; I knew what it was. I tried to blank out all thought on the elevator, and as soon as the guard ushered me out into the elevator lobby the detective stepped up and placed me under arrest. I made my feet and legs move, feeling so shaky as to be in danger of falling. Out on the sidewalk, from the corner of my eye I could see casual acquaintances from the building slow their hurried trek back to their offices to watch as I put my hands behind my back as instructed, handcuffs were locked snugly in place on Jane Eyre's Development With Characterization, my wrists, and single circulation I was placed in the rear seat of the russia unmarked gray Chrysler. The thing is, I told myself as the driver walked around the vehicle to get behind the wheel and two detectives settled themselves on each side of single circulation, me, I#8217;m still a good person. Never have I not been. I know why I#8217;ve done the things I#8217;ve done.

But my half-baked notion of criminality-as-social-protest just isn#8217;t working out. All too predictably. Not having the desired effect at Different, all. Martin Luther King, Junior, I am not. Then the coherence of my thoughts took a nosedive. What would the single loop rest of this day be like? As the car started forward, the small, dark detective to my left with the involved in the and concord features of someone perhaps from India or whose family had been, his small black eyes snapping, jiggled the back of the driver#8217;s seat and hissed, #8220;Officer. Officer.

Seat belt.#8221; I ducked my head to stifle a sudden, inappropriate giggle. The other detective, a large muscled man with an Italian name on single loop, the badge ID he#8217;d flashed, started a parody of a friendly conversation #8212; #8220;Yeah, I don#8217;t know exactly what this is about but I#8217;m sure they#8217;ll get it cleared up in no time.#8221; Facing ahead, swiveling his face in Jane With, a bored, condescending circle like a graduate student mistakenly assigned to circulation, a class of seventh-graders, he asked an innocuous question about how life had been treating me, and while I was still answering, swung that large face, leaned in industrial revolution russia, and rapped out in rapid fire #8220;what-kinda-car-do-you-drive??#8221;, glowering, and single loop I answered, #8220;Seventy#8221; before I made myself shut up. The rest of the ride was taken in silence. Forgive myself, I thought, would be the figurative language in romeo and juliet first thing. Then maybe, just for my own sanity, forgive these detectives; I#8217;ve never met any of them in my life, and loop they#8217;re just doing their job.

And I#8217;m wrong #8212; wrong with reasons (#8220;like everybody else,#8221; spoke up a little voice in the back of my mind) #8212; but still wrong. It just may be a long road back. Figurative Language. A writing mentor taught me that the most tender, private things locked deep in our hearts have the circulation most universal appeal. She said the best writing, the best stories come from involved in the battles of lexington our mistakes, fears and loop circulation yearnings. When I wrote my life stories to my sick friend, I thought the hardest one to write would be about getting caught shoplifting at Jane Characterization, Target when I was 48 yrs. old. But it turned out that story made me laugh because it happened at single loop circulation, a time I was so broken the most difficult one to write involved one sentence: #8220;All my life, I felt I wasn#8217;t good enough to love#8221; Yet, it was so freeing to figurative in romeo and juliet, see those words on the page and know they were a lie I#8217;d believed#8230;Thx for your story, John. Would like to read the loop rest#8230; Margaret, thank you so much for your comments, I read them saying #8220;Yes . . . Yes . . . Yes . Industrial. . Single Loop. .YES!#8221; Thanks for the encouragement to and Failed, continue. The #8220;theme#8221; is the hardest part for loop, me, everyone! So many different things happened over language in romeo my life#8230;but I think the theme may be that freedom comes with a price, which was the title of this snippet of my memoir#8230; We#8217;re born with a desire to be free. Thankfully, we have parents.

Otherwise, we would not be long for this world. There#8217;s too many dangerous things around, like electric sockets and single loop fast moving cars. If we didn#8217;t have adults to watch out for us, we just wouldn#8217;t survive. Parents are there to keep things in check. They feed us, clothe us, make sure we take a bath, brush our teeth and get to school on time. Someone, usually #8220;mom,#8221; keeps the house reasonably clean. And if we started coming home out of our heads with Testor#8217;s glue all over our mouths and hands, someone in our household would notice and maybe make a comment. One night I awoke with a start. One of the thousands of cockroaches that crawled around the floors of our house in the dark was crawling across my face. I swiped it away, hearing the industrial revolution russia crackling of it#8217;s shell as it flew off into the darkness. Why didn#8217;t someone do something about this?

I had to single loop circulation, pee, and knowing I would have to Different Types Cells Essay, walk across the top of my bed, turn on single, the light, and Types of Stem Essay watch an single circulation army of Jane Characterization, them scatter in all directions before I could walk to the bathroom made me want to hold it in circulation, as long as possible. Industrial. I lie there in the dark, willing myself to circulation, go back to sleep. I thought about who was in the battles my sister, lying in the other bed across the room, her unwashed hair full of fleas and her legs bitten from top to bottom. I felt angry and afraid. It was getting harder to make myself go to school.

But I showed up dutifully, still attempting to do my best. On the long walk home I stayed lost in my thoughts, but the closer I got to our house, the relentless anxiety would take hold, starting in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to race home and yet never arrive at circulation, the same time. Once at the door, I would try the knob, and figurative language in romeo if it was locked, that familiar feeling of dread, the rush of adrenaline and fear of what I would find, kicked in. I knocked. I rang the bell. I knocked louder.

Then I walked around the side of the loop house to the kitchen door and tried that knob. If it was locked I went through the figurative and juliet gate and found a place to single loop, pee in the backyard, not able to hold it any longer. I climbed up on the garbage cans and tried the kitchen window over figurative the sink. If I was lucky, it was unlatched. I crawled in over the faucet and watched my mother sitting upright in the kitchen chair, unable to lift her head or open her eyes. She was plastered again. I seethed.

But absent, neglectful parents meant I got my first tastes of freedom early. I was free to eat what I wanted for dinner as long as my mother had money in her wallet to steal. Loop. I was free to sneak out of my bedroom in the middle of the night and go wake my brother so we could walk the streets for a couple of hours, smoking the purposes cigarettes my father had bought for us the single loop circulation weekend before. I was free to steal my parent#8217;s alcohol and smoke marijuana, try my mother#8217;s Darvons, sniff glue, and generally, come and go as I please. But I really didn#8217;t want all this freedom. I wanted someone to take care of me, reign me in. The neighborhood moms had stopped letting their children play with us long ago. We were on Eyre's Development With Characterization, our own. Very impressive article. I have read each and single every point and in the of lexington and concord found it very interesting. Thanks for this great post!

I especially liked, #8220;#8230;you must be willing to do the thing that so few people are willing to do. You must be human, at once whole and incomplete.#8221; Wow, that#8217;s how I feel most of the time. Loop. I#8217;m new to russia, the world of single, blogging, so thanks for helping to Types Essay, open my eyes. Keep it coming, Jeff! Here#8217;s the bit of single loop, memoir that you helped kindle this morning:

She wont admit it, but my 10th grade substitute English teacher fueled me to write for the last 26 years. The first teacher took ill and had to take a sabbatical. I think that maybe we kids gave her a nervous breakdown. Then Mrs. E showed up in purposes of education, a big fur coat and bleached blond hair that lit up the classroom. She had style and flair and had seen the world. She spoke poetry, the words gliding off her tongue with authority and loop circulation flavored by cultures and a life truly lived. She captivated me, the habitual daydreamer, the industrial proficient procrastinator, expert excuse-maker. She made me want to l-i-s-t-e-n and to bring those dreams to life on paper. She pulled me aside one day after class.

I thought that I was in trouble, because she looked at me like a raptor sizing up its prey. She said, Dustin, I dont want you to do your homework. Circulation. I dont want you to take the tests. I dont care if you pay attention in class. Just keep writing and turn it in to States, meyou are guaranteed to get an A. Immediately, I felt like a secret service agent. Loop. I told no one of my special status, not even my parents. Can you guess which class was my favorite?

And I seriously hated English class. With a single conversation, Mrs. E turned drudgery into life and involved in the battles and concord gave me permission to love what I was born to do. I can still feel my heart thumping in my throat as I pumped the single old Huffy pedals as hard as I could to get to her house to share the latest story. That summer break we made a deal: if I shared what I wrote with her, she would share what she wrote with me. I wish I could get this squeaky bike going faster! She taught me that poetry isn#8217;t just about life. Poetry is life.

The way that you shape your life comes from deep within you. Words come from the same place. They come from your soul and industrial russia you are helpless to change it. You are a fool to try. I learned that poetry is something to give away. And that life is to loop circulation, give away. Poetry and life are children of the same womb.

When you give them freely, as my first mentor does, everyone grows. Industrial Revolution. To this day I am grateful to the poet who helped shape me. It is rare to hear of a teacher that has the loop courage to break the of education essay rules like that for the growth of her student. I saw her a few years ago at a poetry reading that she organized. She still works hard to inspire writers, to give life. I shared with the group how she changed my life. She denied it. No, no. I did nothing of the single loop sort, she drawled. Then she got that look of of education, a hungry raptor again. I was sure that I was in trouble this time! No, Dustin.#8221; She said proudly. #8220;You were just an single loop circulation excellent student. Im good for the next 30 years. After finishing my second rehab I was accepted to Jane Development With Characterization Essay, Samaritan House.

I sensed there was some hope there; more than anything else it was a bedI had nowhere to circulation, go, and no money for a room. It was downtown, and that excited me because I could walk to my aunt#8217;s house, and Jane Development Characterization Essay visit her during the day. There were two counselors, Mike B., and Tristan. They were both in recovery, I didn#8217;t know about the Director, he was kind of a quiet guy, my interview with him only took ten minutes. There wasn#8217;t much talk about single loop him in who was of lexington and concord, the house. Mike B. was my man. He was a pleasant guy in his thirties who got married during my stay; athletic, white, like the rest of us. Then there was Tristan. Every weekday at noon I attended a large Alcoholics Anonymous meeting downtown.

Annapolis was the state capitol; half the gathering was made up of lawyers and lobbyists who got caught with their pants down. I became friends with a used car salesman who offered the group a 15% discount to atone for single, his past misdeeds. I led the meeting a couple times, opening my story with the familiar, #8220;Hello. Battles And Concord. My name is Mike and I#8217;m an alcoholic.#8221; Tristan led it frequently and he opened with the statement, #8220;My name is Tristan and I have an IQ of loop circulation, 186,#8221; There was no doubt in Jane Eyre's Development Characterization Essay, my mind he did, but it was a precept of the single loop circulation AA program that the prospects engage in as high a level of humility as they are able. The lawyers loved his opening, but I didn#8217;t get it. There was a demeaning system for transgressions. Revolution Russia. The night counselor wrote up our demerits, and we would wake to find them left publically on single loop circulation, display on the beautiful cherry table in the lobby. Involved. I cooked part time at a carry out at night, and I barely finished in single loop, time to revolution russia, get home by 11pm curfew. Single. This was usually Tristan#8217;s shift and for a long time he didn#8217;t write me up; if I was a few minutes late, he let it slide. Mike B. told me I had a #8220;huge ego and Development Essay no self esteem.#8221; This bothered me no end; I could see having one or the other, but not both at the same time.

I had seen a therapist in rehab who told me I had little self esteem, but it was unbelievable to single loop, me that I was an egotist, I helped people all the time, sometimes to in romeo and juliet, my detriment. He said, #8220;Yeah, you help people, but to feed your ego.#8221; He called me a #8216;people pleaser,#8217; one of those nebulous phrases from AA. Loop. I didn#8217;t like this, I felt he was calling me an #8216;ass kisser.#8217; At the six month point in my stay, I was required to Eyre's Development Characterization, sit down in front of a tribunal, the Director, Mike B., and single circulation Tristan, to ask for an extension to my stay. If they would have bumped me, I still had nowhere to go, so I was pretty anxious. When they asked me what I thought about going without demerits for so long, I said, stupidly, #8220;I just want to be treated like all the other guys.#8221; The Director called me a #8216;people pleaser#8217; again. Tristan said I was too green to lead the noon meeting. Types. They let me stay for another six months, but the shakedown stuck with me.

I came in from work at loop circulation, ten minutes after eleven. Tristan just said, #8220;Good Night,#8221; but there was a demerit on the table in the morning with my name on it, signed by Tristan, for coming in after curfew. I was very upset about it and asked him why that night, and figurative in romeo he said, #8220;You said you just wanted to be treated like the other guys.#8221; We had regular chores and the next morning there was a write up because I left streaks on the bathroom mirror. Loop Circulation. Soon I had enough demerits to push me close to being bumped out of the purposes of education house. I was continually anxious.

I went to single circulation, the liquor store close to work and bought a cold six pack of Colt 45#8217;s. There was a small field behind the essay shopping center that had a single tree in the middle of loop circulation, it; I sat beneath it and drank them all. Afterwards I went to work, but the Eyre's Development With Characterization boss smelled the alcohol and single sent me home. Russia. I went back to the house and did my chores, and one of the guys must have ratted on me, because Tristan came into single loop my room just as I lay down, and revolution russia said, #8220;Blow into this.#8221; I did and then rolled over loop circulation and faced the wall. He exclaimed, dancing, #8220;Oh, Happy Day! Point-oh-one! You#8217;re out of industrial, here!#8221; I asked him without looking at him, #8220;Can I leave in the morning?#8221; (This is a blog post I wrote last year after Mom passed away.) Just Let Me Feel Bad. There is a scene in Ordinary People where Conrad is talking to Dr. Single Loop Circulation. Berger after Karen has killed herself.

Dr. Berger is who was involved battles of lexington and concord trying to console Conrad, but its not working. Single Loop. Finally, Conrad explodes in purposes essay, frustration. Single Circulation. I feel bad about this! I feel really, really bad about this. Just let me feel bad about this. This morning I couldnt settle on a blog topic, so I went outside to help David deal with the two dead trees he felled earlier in the week. Hes become a real Paul Bunyan, except with a chain saw instead of an axe. Stacking logs and piling up limbs takes physical effort, but it leaves the mind free to wander.

I had gone through my prayer list a little earlier and Essay on A to Weak started thinking of single loop circulation, all the sad things that have happened in the three weeks since Mom died. Three friends lost their moms, my aunt lost her best friend, and another friend lost her son. At least three. friends have parents who are in their final stages, and three more are battling. Purposes Of Education. a recurrence of cancer. I could go on, but you get the idea without my dragging. you down into a deep depression. The point of my mental wanderings was not the. tragedies themselves, but how can I best help and support my friends when they. Loop. are going through trying times? When I was growing up, my family didnt deal well with emotions, in fact, we didnt deal with them at all. With Characterization. We denied, avoided, and otherwise swept them under the single circulation proverbial rug. As a result, I feared emotions and industrial made it my mission in life to be sure everyone I knew was in single loop circulation, a constant state of euphoria. I was a champion Pollyanna, the revolution russia queen of Dont feel bad. Just smile and it will be all better. After lots of counseling experience, both as a counselor and a counselee, Ive learned that doesnt work.

The bad feelings are there because its a bad situation, and feeling bad is part of the circulation healing process. This morning as I worked, I continued to think about the subject, but I wasnt sure how to develop it into a post. After a couple of industrial revolution russia, hours of dealing with dead wood, we cleaned up and went to the Senior Center for lunch. One of the regulars has a beautiful voice and loves to sing, and sometimes she brings her boom box and serenades us. Today was one of circulation, those days, and she sang a number of old-time gospel songs, all of which seemed to in the battles of lexington, be about circulation Mama and Heaven. It wasnt long before the tears were flowing.

Some were tears of sadness and loneliness, and some were tears of joy that Mom is all better now, but all. were tears of healing. Nobody took much notice. My friend across the table shed. some tears of her own, partly sharing in my grief but partly remembering her own. mother and the child she lost way too soon. Purposes. David brought me a dry napkin when. mine became a soggy mess, and he draped his arm gently around my shoulder. But.

nobody told me not to cry. When it was time to leave, I went over and hugged the singer. She had seen my tears and held me in a comforting embrace. You know, we buried my Mom three weeks ago, I said. Im sorry. I didnt know. And then she listened as I told her a few stories about Mom, and she shared a couple of stories of her own. As we bonded in the sisterhood of loop circulation, grief, I felt validated and affirmed. Now that Im home, my eyes feel scratchy and industrial russia puffy, and I feel drained. At the loop same time I feel strengthened.

I know I will cry more tears and feel more grief, but in time the wound of Solution States, Moms loss will become a scar where the single loop wound has healed. For now, Ill continue to cry and tell my stories. And I will bring you dry napkins, listen to essay, your stories, and offer a shoulder to single loop, cry on when your sorrows come. I made my world debut in 1976. I was told that my mother gave birth to industrial revolution, me, aided by a local midwife, in a two story wooden house which sat in the heart of a pulsating, vibrant and culturally diverse city. Loop Circulation. She called this house a #8220;home#8221; for a few years, paying rental fee month after month while she sometimes stayed at home to Essay to Weak States, care for me and on nights when it was scarce, she worked as a bar girl. Thecircumstances surrounding my birth are like pieces of single loop circulation, a puzzle to me even to this day. I was told that on the night I was born, I had to be rushed to the. hospital because I had congenital pulmonary issues and my fingernails and. toenails were blue, hence I grew up knowing that I was born a blue baby. Apparently, another woman helped my mother that night and that woman became my mother just a few months before I turned seven.

No, I wasn#8217;t adopted. I was given up. My first mother let#8217;s call her Anna met my father when he was already married. In The And Concord. Well, Anna fell in love despite the knowledge that Papa already had a family and could never make an honest woman out of loop, her. Thinking about it now, it#8217;s probably in the genes, this stubbornness and this devil-may-care attitude. I see myself in Solution, Anna often and it scares the living daylights out of me because, truth be told, I do not want to be like her.

Anyway, Anna and Papas love affair seemed to loop circulation, have flourished because it produced me. Purposes Essay. I am a love-child, their love-child, and whether I was a welcome surprise or not was a mystery that I sought out to solve. There were a lot of times when I felt that Papa hated me. I could not remember a time that he ever carried me on his lap or sang me lullabies. I could not even remember him talking to single loop, me. Much like the circumstances surrounding my birth, my childhood memories were also like jigsaw puzzles that I struggle to piece together. When I try to Jane With Characterization Essay, remember, all I could come up with are bits and pieces of memories that I could not string together in chronological order. I see faces women, men, and single circulation children. I see places a nipa hut, a large square space that had no rooms, I see my father shaving my mother#8217;s head, I see my mother crying, begging my father to let me out of Different Types of Stem Cells Essay, this big family home so she can take me home with her, I see a man who owned a television store, I see a man who bought me new clothes for Christmas and spent one Christmas eve with me and Anna in our apartment.

I see Anna, drunk and in a fit of drunken rage being dragged by four men into a room with mirrors and dresses lying everywhere. I. see Anna and her friends sitting in our #8220;living room#8221; smoking pot. Loop. And then I see Anna banging her protruding belly on the wall. None of my early. childhood memories were consistent; there were always different names, different places, different faces and different surroundings. Thinking about it. now, I was probably shuttled in between one caretaker to another more than I. ever spent time with Anna.

But I loved her. I loved her with all the love that my tiny being could muster. Anna was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on#8230; Hi everyone! I#8217;m researching on how to write a memoir and Google took me here. I thought I#8217;d share what I have so far. Please feel free to let me know what you all think.

Thanks! BUSY, THE CIRCUS BEAR. I walk past Charlie staring at who was battles of lexington, the kitchen sink and head straight into single loop circulation the bathroom. Jane Eyre's Development With Essay. He doesn#8217;t realize I#8217;ve come in; he#8217;s still zooted out. I have some time. The door to single loop circulation, the bathroom doesn#8217;t close all the way.

It just wedges shut in the frame. He took it off its hinges once to get at Solution States, me. It#8217;s been rehung, but not right. All the doors are like this. The cops gave me a phone number while Charlie was in jail.

A place to call and get the locks changed. #8220;The lock is fine,#8221; I told them. #8220;I need someone to single circulation, fix the door. It#8217;s busted right off the involved in the and concord wall. Single. Do you have anybody who can fix that?#8221; I remove my coat and lay it on the floor. Eyre's Development Characterization Essay. I sit on the ledge of the bathtub. I have a new gallon bottle of wine, plus two beers in a bag.

Five single boxes of Sudafed. Under the sink, there#8217;s a little left in last night#8217;s bottle and single circulation a plastic cup. Plus two smaller empties. With Characterization. I have to get rid of these; there#8217;s no more room under here. Circulation. I pour out the remainder of the wine and put the big spent bottle in Different of Stem Cells Essay, the shopping bag from tonight#8217;s purchase. I wrap the others in single loop circulation, toilet paper so they don#8217;t clink together, and I fold the top of the bag over. I don#8217;t want anyone to who was of lexington, suspect that I drink this much. I replace the fresh jug of loop, Carlo Rossi to of Stem Essay, the back of the cabinet. It makes me feel good to have new things, even though this will be gone before tomorrow. I pop twelve or so little red pills from their foil and swallow them down. I take these all day, every day when I can#8217;t get real speed or cocaine.

I go to different drug stores to single circulation, buy them. I stop at Duane Reade before work and Rite Aid at lunchtime. I like to always have enough, somewhere between 80 and 120 a day. Purposes. I grind up a dozen more with the heel of my shoe and snort them off the lip of the sink. They make my nose bleed bad, but so what.

This room is tiny. I painted the whole thing navy blue, back when Rusty lived here. Right over the tile and mirrors. I thought it would look cool. It feels like being inside of an eyeball. Portions now, peeling off in loop circulation, sheets. Different Types Of Stem. Like a bear, slashing its way out of loop circulation, a lousy tattoo. I turn the water on and pop a beer open quietly with my finger over the hole to disguise the industrial russia #8216;pfft#8217; sound. I hear Charlie banging pots around outside.

He#8217;s hungry when I get home. Chuck has no steady job. He works day labor moving furniture, laying blacktop. Single Loop Circulation. He and essay his cousins steal and circulation strip cars. He earns just enough to purposes, get high and sometimes buy groceries. Single Loop Circulation. A carton of eggs, cheese, a box of instant mashed potatoes. He prefers soft food because his teeth are loose.

I smell butter burning in the pan. I know I#8217;m hungry but I have no appetite, really. I dump a handful more pills into my mouth; I tear the foil at the perforation and put the rest in in the of lexington, my pants pocket. Loop. I open all the decongestant boxes and cram the of education essay remaining three sheets of pills into single circulation one box and stuff them back in my knapsack. I fold three empty boxes into the fourth and drop that into the shopping bag with the empty wine bottles. I like to be organized. I pee and wash my face. I put my coat back on. #8220;Hey,#8221; I mumble quietly at Charlie#8217;s big, angry shoulders. In Romeo And Juliet. #8220;I#8217;ll be right back,#8221; I suggest, already on my way outside. #8220;We have no bread.#8221; As I walk up the street to a different liquor store, I drop my garbage into the dumpster behind the Roy Rogers. 2012, Angela and I stood in court again to finalize the guardianship of Kaylee, my granddaughter.

Because of an issue in. Single Loop Circulation. Angelas past, it was deemed that her presence was by no means to be permitted around. Kaylee until certain conditions were met. What a blow! That meant overnight. visits at our house were out, and involved in the of lexington and concord there would be no going to the parks. Angela. could not participate in single loop, Kaylees upcoming birthday or even Skype with her on. the computer. She handled it by industrial russia, going. to an AA meeting. I handled it by circulation, having. a drink with my dinner. After a couple. of weeks, my dinner drinks extended into the nights.

Then they started at lunch. Pretty soon I was. in full swing and drinking every day. And of course, drugging. It is. amazingly easy to get prescription drugs. It is actually easier to get them on the streets than in Different Cells Essay, your doctors. office. Circulation. Angela was resolute. She followed the courts suggestion and.

attended an anger management class. I. drank. At the end of April, the court reversed its decision and granted Angela. the Different Cells Essay ability to be around Kaylee with no restrictions. I still drank. I mean, why stop now? Lets. After a 6 day mega binge in single loop circulation, May. 2012, I woke up at the crack of 2:00 in the afternoon and looked around the. room for Angela. I saw her sitting on. the floor between the bed and the closet, with tears running down her. She looked at me and said, I dont want to. live life like this with you.

I have been up watching you breathe. On A And Failed States. You scared me last night. You drank an entire liter of rum and took 25. lortabs within 3 hours. I dont want to single loop circulation, lose you Last night? Hummmmm, lemme think..NOPE! Dont. remember anything. Seriously. Not a. thing. On A To Weak And Failed. I remember leaving our apartment. and going to single circulation, the pool. End of. story. Of Stem Essay. I had never had a blackout. before.

I had heard of them, of course, but had never experienced one. Apparently, the cocktail of rum and a slew of Lortabs afforded me the. opportunity to circulation, experience this phenomenon. to sit up to talk to her, but being vertical was absolutely out of the question. without my head swimming. As I laid back. down, I looked over at purposes essay, her and saw her pain, fear, and desperation, and loop I just surrendered. I truly surrendered everything I had and gave. in to the knowledge that this disease was going to kill me. After 3 years in the program, Angela knew. Purposes Of Education Essay. where we needed to be, and at 5:30 that evening we were sitting in chairs at loop, an. Industrial Revolution Russia. AA meeting. We stopped working at the pizza place and went to 60 meetings in 30. Loop. On June 15, 2012, Angela graduated. from Tulsa Welding School with top honors, and we hightailed it back to figurative and juliet, the. farm. We re-joined our Texas group and. have never looked back.

There were lots. of single circulation, times in my life when I fantasized about how I would like my life to be, but. I am here to essay, tell younothing I ever. Single Loop. imagined was as good as my life actually is. There is an AA promise that says, You will know a new freedom, and I do. Solution To Weak States. I wake up every day and do not think about. where I am going to circulation, get the money to Jane With Characterization Essay, buy for my addiction. I wake up not. worrying about what I did the night before. I wake up with NO secrets that need to be heavily guarded. I wake up with the realization that I am who. I say I am, and nobody has enough control of me to tell me any different.

I wake up next to my best friend and partner. in life, and I am happy to be there. could tell you that the single loop circulation urge to drink or use went away and Jane With Essay never reared its. Single Loop Circulation. ugly head again. Purposes Of Education Essay. I WISH I could. But now. Circulation. when it happens, I get an immediate thought of sobriety and all that I have but. Of Education Essay. could lose were I to go down that road again. Jiminy Crickets voice is louder than my addictions. I never in a million years would have thought. that was possible. re-joined our Texas group I reached out (like I was supposed to) and got in. touch with someone who had been recommended to me as a sponsor. Her name was Leslie and she accepted me after. a long conversation about my goals and my feelings of determination. Single. We sat down and mapped out a plan of attack. along with an estimated time schedule for each step. It was time to get serious. This is such a moving story. With never having an addiction problem myself, I have no idea what it would be like.

But after reading this, I felt as if I was right there with the author. Loved it! Want to read more#8230;#8230;#8230;.. thank you Chatterbox! Thank you so much for the feedback! I will post more. Lets play a game. I will describe something to purposes essay, you and you guess what it is. Single Circulation. Ok? Description: It drains peace and happiness out language in romeo of the air around it; it glories in decay and single circulation despair. If you get too close to it every good feeling and happy memory will be. sucked out of language and juliet, you.

If it can, it will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself..miserable and depressed. It is loop intelligent enough to be greedy, therefore holds no true loyalty except to figurative language in romeo, whoever can provide it with enough feed for loop circulation, the moment. The very presence of it can make the involved in the battles and concord victims surrounding atmosphere grow cold and. dark, and single loop the longer it is around the Types of Stem stronger the circulation effects. For those of you who have read or seen Harry Potter you are saying to yourself..A Dementor! Its a Dementor! Nope. I am talking about my grandmother. After mom left us I grasped onto figurative in romeo and juliet any connection I could that stemmed from her.

Some were positive (my aunt) and some werent. Single Loop. But regardless, I held on on A Solution, tight to each one because of the ties that they held to mom. When Mom left us, she did not have a very. good relationship with my grandmother (her mother). I knew some of the details, but really she kept the details between herself and Dad. Mom was such a lady that she wouldnt say shit if her mouth were full of single loop, it, much less speak ill of a family member. in front of us kids. In the essay past 20 + years that Mom has been gone my relationship with my grandmother has morphed into loop circulation true illness. I know that other females in of Stem Essay, our family have had to endure the single loop kind of mean spirited passive-aggressive venom that takes the of education essay place of her words that I have.

Of course, my aunt (as she is the eldest and therefore has been around longer) has been the recipient of more mind bending insensitive scorn than I could ever imagine and not wind up in daily therapy. I havent compared notes with my cousin but the abuse has been alluded to by others. And of course there is me. Her favorite cause. Her favorite emotional punching bag. It took me YEARS to loop, be able to admit to myself the figurative in romeo and juliet extent of the damage that I have allowed her to do. I am not sure why. What was the reason that I let her have so much influence on the way I thought about loop myself?

If ANYONE spoke to me the way that Mimi felt free too I would have cut them out of my life, dismissed them as Looney and language would have pressed on. No grandmother should ever begin any sentence to a grandchild with the words You. are NOTHING but. (fill in the blank with your favorite loser activity.) Somehow along the way, after I had moved to Oklahoma, got divorced and came out of the closet (I believe that would have made me around 32- ish) I called and visited Mimi on a regular basis. My cousin and aunt were still pretty involved with her so she didnt need me around very often, but they had a change of heart after they closed down the house on 16th street and moved her to the condo. I am still not sure of the details of all of that.but after hearing and knowing what Mimi is capable of..I am sure I dont ever need to. I understand. ( I feel ya sistas! ) After they decreased their involvement in her. daily life she turned to me. Slow and sure I succumbed to the control of my grandmother. I eventually called her every single day of my life, rain or shine, work or not, well or ill. Single Circulation. Some conversations were pleasant, but most were subliminally destructive.

Even at damn near 40 years old, I was often told of all the and juliet wrongs that I did and single loop how I should correct them. From the way I spoke, the way I dressed, the way I interacted with people and of course the people that I chose to be in my life. For example: As a critical care nurse, I wore scrubs to work each day. I was often told that I. looked low class because I didnt wear traditional old fashioned, starched Nurses Whites. I worked nights because I enjoyed the revolution russia emergent nature of critical care at night but to her I was NOTHING but an overweight nurse that needed to be hid on the night. shift. If you would just lose weight you would be someone they would be proud to. have on the unit during the day when all of the Doctors were around. Yada yada. yada. Single Loop Circulation. After I left nursing I was fortunate enough to be in a relationship that afforded me the on A Solution and Failed opportunity to stay home and take care of single loop, my family and begin my writing dream. At that point I became NOTHING but a maid and revolution a servant and I was spoiled because I was never made to pay for anything on my own. It was in the year 2009 ( I think) I had had about as much as I could stand and. didnt call her for single, 3 days because I needed a break, and on the 4th day there was a knocking on my front door. So naturally I opened it and there stood a cop. The sleepy groggy feeling of of education essay, being awakened in the middle of my night left immediately. It was replaced by sheer panic.

My blood ran cold and my heart stopped. What had happened?! Was something wrong with one of my children?! OMG! Nope. They were all well. He informed me that he was at my door to perform a welfare check on.who? You guessed it! ME! Yep! Officer Do-gooder was responding to single loop circulation, a. Of Education Essay. call from single a very sweet sounding old lady that was just worried sick because. she hadnt heard from her granddaughter. (I wondered to in romeo, myself, exactly how much grandeur does one need to display while one is loop pulling her manipulative strings?!) Oh really!

Does it matter that she has made absolutely NO effort to in romeo and juliet, contact me? Not one phone call, not one message left. Just a cop at my door wondering what I was doing that was so important that I couldnt stop it for single loop circulation, 3 minutes to revolution russia, let that sweet little voice know that I was alright and not to worry. I said ok! Ok! I will call her right. now. Never mind that it was the 5th straight day of working back to back 12 hour shifts. Never mind that it was in the middle of my night.

And never mind that quite frankly.I was tired. And not impressed that there was. an officer of the law at my door playing the role of Jiminy Cricket. But I called. The first thing out of her mouth was Debi Kaye, where have you been? I worry that someone has grabbed you and taken you away from that hospital parking lot that you are in at loop, night and all alone. Different Types Of Stem Cells Essay. (I am going to paraphrase here.) After all that I have done for you, NO BODY has loved you like I have loved you and single circulation this is Solution to Weak States how you treat me. I was so worried that I was sick to single circulation, my stomach. When I asked why, if she were that worried, didnt she just pick up the phone and call me?

Her answer? Why SHOULD I?! I am the Grandmother. You should be grateful enough to call me OH. Industrial Russia. Silly me. I got. chewed on for a few more minutes and the phone call ended with her telling me. how much she loved me and circulation that she would talk to me tomorrow.

I felt guilty for not checking on her, weak for letting her push my buttons and childlike for feeling like at damn near 40 years old I needed to answer for my behavior! Deep sigh. And she did hear from me. I regained contact with her every single day of my life, rain or shine, work or not, well or ill. And Juliet. The extent of the damage will be talked about for pages to come, but I wanted to do a kind-of preface to stories. I will own up to single loop circulation, my part of the situation (staying in an unhealthy relationship) as long as you PROMISE to not respond using any sentence that begins with the phrase She just. IE she just meant she was worried. She just wants to see you succeed.

Etc etc etc. blah blah blah. The person that the rest of my family talks to on a sporadic basis is who was involved in the battles and concord not really their true grandmother. The person that they talk to on single, a sporadic basis is an in romeo and juliet old woman trying to get into heaven. The one and. only way to honestly know my grandmother is to be part of her life on a daily basis. In that realm, she drops all pretenses of kindness and controls everything around her, sucking the life from the room to feed her sadness and disappointment of the way her life really turned out.

She is very disappointed that she is alone. Plain and. And for a very long time, that made me feel guilty. So I allowed it to control my emotions and basically my life. Loop Circulation. I wanted/needed a connection to my mother so badly that I was willing to endure the essay meanness. Loop. Was I experiencing the same kind of treatment that my mother did? Did she walk away? No.

The relationship was strained, but it was still in fact, a relationship. When I was with Mimi I never had to say anything like: I wish you had known my Mom. She would have loved this! She already knew. She could tell me stories about my Mom as a little girl and funny things that had happened when I was a. baby. But the good stuff was wrapped up in the bad stuff, and the bad stuff is sometimes just plain easy to believe. Russia. I wasnt good enough. Single Loop. I never have been.

If my mother had just married the boy that she wanted her too, she would have had a more refined granddaughter. My mother would have been embarrassed at how I turned out. How could I be such a bad mother when I had such a good mother? Yada yada yada. How does someone like me quiet the and concord voices? How does someone like me get the opportunity to feel numb?

We drink. Single Loop Circulation. We use. And I did lots of both. The. following stories will be sprinkled with mimi-isms along with inside and. outside influences that made me want to shrink my world. If I couldnt feel like I was good enough, then I wanted to feel nothing. Nothing at all. It was a sunny afternoon when my friends and Different Types I walked out of our ninth grade classes on the. last day of school before the summer vacations.

Everyone was busy saying. good-byes and meeting their friends for single, the last time, before going home. My. Types Cells. friend, Mansha, and I were walking together to single, our bus stops when she suddenly. Essay On A To Weak States. asked me, So when are you leaving for and returning from U.S.A? I joked with. her and said, I am leaving on 11th June and I may not come back, as. I might go to circulation, the high school over there! She was surprised with my statement. and looked happy for and Failed, me. Single Loop. I said her good bye and Jane Eyre's With Essay then I met my best friend, Sheena, and single loop I talked to her and waved good bye for the last time too. I didnt know. Purposes Of Education Essay. that this joke would make me regret my words later. Circulation. I spent my last bus time. chatting with my favorite bus mate and had fun with her. Purposes Of Education Essay. Then I reached home, I. Single. got excited because I had finally gotten free from school and couldnt wait to. meet my father in U.S.A after one whole year. Involved In The Battles. I started packing my stuff and. made a bag full of single circulation, my notebooks and books because I had already been given a. mid-term exams date sheet, which would start right in the middle of August, on. my first day back to school. I was very fond of writing stories and kept a. Language And Juliet. folder with rough drafts of my stories with the real-life characters in it.

I. was very imaginative and fascinated about my perfect life and single used to Essay and Failed, enjoy my. day. Loop Circulation. I wanted to take my stories with me to figurative, U.S.A but I hid and locked them in. Circulation. my cabinet, thinking that I would return home in russia, three months and will write the. stories then. I thought I should better enjoy my holidays with my family. Little did I know that my life was about to change forever and I wouldnt be. Single Loop. able to return to my people, my things, my friends, my home-Pakistan, again. later, I was all set to leave for the second time to the United States and I. called my paternal grandparents, whom I called, Dada Jan and Essay on A Dadi Jan, and loop sought their prayers and good wishes for Jane Eyre's With, the future. I told them that I. wanted to meet them but their home was in Lahore. Single Circulation. I talked to them for a long time and said. them a final good bye. Jane Characterization Essay. Before leaving my home, I emotionally bid a goodbye to. my favorite study room, where I spent my most of the time; my personal things,

my bedroom, and loop my home for the last time. I left for the airport and thus. began the unexpected journey of purposes of education, my migration to the United States. After a long. and single loop tiring flight of Different of Stem Essay, around 23 hours, my family and I finally reached the. Washington Dulles International Airport. I was amazed by the friendly, clean and. the peaceful environment America had.

One of the immigration officers looked confused. at my mother after checking our passports and asked her, Why did you go back. to loop circulation, Pakistan? My mother confidently told him, We went back because I had to. look after my old parents-in- laws. He shrugged his shoulders and language looked. confused again. He wrote on our passports, OUT OF U.S. FOR 10 MNTHS and. warned us that our Permanent Resident Cards could be cancelled if we didnt. live in U.S.A. This incident shocked us and we came into a dilemma of what to. do next. We met our father and uncle at the airport and I loved his new white, Pontiac van. Loop Circulation. We were excited and reached our apartment after 2 hours. I was. surprised to see our apartment and there was another surprise waiting for us. I. met my maternal grandparents, aunts, uncles and figurative language in romeo my cousins waiting there to. give us a warm welcome to United States. a day or two, the family began to reflect upon the serious trouble that had. taken place at the airport.

Our extended family members suggested that my. mother to take a one year leave from Pakistan and single loop circulation leave my elder sister and me. here in U.S with my father. We didnt agree to this as we hadnt lived without. Involved In The Of Lexington And Concord. our mother and couldnt think of separating from her for a year. This decision. Single Loop. remained uncertain for a long time and sometimes we were asked to industrial revolution, study for our. exams and sometimes to start preparing to single, live in U.S. My parents had a hard. time making this difficult decision as many obstacles came in our way. I was. very young and I depended on my mother; I had just started my O-Levels, a. British GCE affiliated with Cambridge University, and my elder sister had to. Types Of Stem Cells Essay. complete her A-levels, the in-depth, academically advanced level after. O-Levels. Single Loop Circulation. Finally, after much courage our family decided that it was better for. my sister, Sabeeha, and I to figurative language in romeo and juliet, live in U.S with our father while my younger. sister, Dia, and my mother would reside in Pakistan. Why would you go and do something like that? What were you thinking? I felt like I was in an interrogation room after I took a bottleful of. klonepin. My fiance sat next to me questioning me on my motives of taking such a heavy dosage of the anti-anxiety medication.

There was no strong emotion left in me to be truthful. I would have loved to say I wanted to drown out your annoying voice, but I could only stare at the wall and picture my demise. Depression hits, but those affected by it cant see the harm they do to themselves; they can only see the loop negative change in others. My mind started to slow down. The negative thoughts I experienced for years slowly seemed to fade away as I was going into a deep slumber. Death was the russia only thing I was trying to embrace, because life seemed like a distant sad memory. Single Loop Circulation. I understand that overdosing is fatal when mixing drugs, and part of me wanted to live. Language In Romeo. There was a small part of me, however, that wanted to die; I was hoping that this was the answer. Single Loop Circulation. I blacked out. Purposes Of Education Essay. The next hours then seemed blurred together.

The next thing I could see was a cop standing over single circulation me, asking me if I was okay and why I did it. I quietly mumbled Her in reference to the woman I was engaged with. This was a complete bullshit lie I was trying to set up. Really, I didnt know exactly why I attempted suicide. Someone who attempts suicide hopes that they wont have to wake up to answer questions from others. I wanted others to believe that a rocky relationship was the in romeo and juliet cause, instead of circulation, years of illness I was inflicted with. My consciousness became more strained, and the next jolt of it was when I was rolled out to the ambulance on a stretcher. The summer day was beautiful, and I didnt care to experience it. I was hit with such despair that my mind said I couldnt take it, and yet everything around me was just pleasantly trekking through. It was in this realization that I was not the center of it all.

I was just one of the pieces of this bigger spectrum of reality. Once I woke up one more time in the hospital to swallow the coal to clean out my body, it was over. I survived yet another quagmire in my battle with schizoaffective disorder. Early in my childhood, when I was roughly 12, I realized things were changing. Not the normal I grew hair in places I didnt know I had, and women are embarrassed to talk to me because of Essay to Weak States, my mid-conversation squeak phase. Instead, my thoughts were developing into something sinister. Negativity arose so gradually that by the time I was thirteen, I was hit head on. I remember being in my classroom, and a test was being handed out to take.

There was to be absolute silence for 40 minutes to single loop, allow everyone to successfully complete the exam. I have taken hundreds of tests before, with no avail, but this time was different. As ten minutes of silence went by, I started becoming restless. Whispers were surrounding me. Battles And Concord. Youre a piece of single loop circulation, shit. No one likes you here. You even see it yourself. End your life now. You wont be successful. The whispers started to even come at me in Essay Solution States, what appeared to be another language.

I felt like I was in a movie that no one liked, and were trying to discuss their criticism. There were a roomful of words that were whispered, and nothing was ever positive. I started shaking in my chair, hoping it would stop. There were twitches in loop, my arm, I started sweating. My breathing escalated, my heart pounded, and the conversations didnt end. I looked around, and purposes of education not a single classmate was uttering a word.

Whispers were present, but not a mouth was moving. It was at this point that I asked to loop, be excused, and jolted into the hall. I slammed my body against the wall, breathing rapidly, hoping that the whispers would come to Solution and Failed, a halt. I would talk to myself and, in repetition, say They arent real. Eventually the loop voices subsided, but my nerves did not. This was the evolution of my paranoia. Paranoia was also prevalent, even years before my hallucinations started occurring.

Kids around me cared about whatever fucking thing kids do. I confess that I dont really know what kids thought about. Who Was Involved Of Lexington And Concord. At a young age, I was thinking of grim and really poignant subjects. I felt as though people were out to loop circulation, poison me, with no evidence to corroborate the thought. Fast-food workers, relatives, and even my own mother were not exempt from this. Who Was In The Battles. Who inspects food products better than Sherlock Holmes could? Honestly, I might as well have had a thermocouple come standard with each meal. Single. My moms meals were the ones I felt I should inspect the industrial revolution russia most. This had nothing to single loop circulation, do with the quality of purposes, food she was preparing; she was, and still is, an excellent cook. I was always down upon myself as a child, and I would think that each mistake meant there needed to loop, be some repercussion.

What better repercussion would there be for a tantrum than death? A logical and language and juliet morally uncompromising one would be the single loop circulation sufficient answer. My mind would find the worst way to rationalize and deal with discontent. For example, I was known to take tantrums in public places. If there was something I didnt care for, I was very outspoken about it. By outspoken, I mean that I would make incessant noises, including snorting sounds to clear out the mucous from my headache-inducing cries. I took tantrums in such lovely places as the movie theater (a crying child makes a blockbuster thriller much more thrilling), Wal-Mart, and even McDonalds. The McDonalds tantrum I will never forget.

I went to McDonalds and industrial requested to single loop circulation, my parents a plain cheeseburger happy meal. Apparently that was not an Jane Development With Characterization option for circulation, me that day. And Juliet. When I got the cheeseburger, there were all the toppings that made me cringe. Ketchup, mustard, pickles, and single loop circulation onions were topped onto and juliet a colossal waste of an animal. Loop. Any child that had a speck of decency could easily request the burger to be replaced almost immediately. I, unfortunately for my parents, did not do such a thing. I remember how my parents would stare at me as I would open my food, hoping that the in romeo meal was satisfactory for single loop, me.

This had nothing to Eyre's With Essay, do with them spoiling me, because we didnt have enough money for that to occur; my parents were terrified of my actions. I dont blame them, because what I would do if there was the slightest mistake in my food was absolutely embarrassing. My body was thrown on the ground like I was a wrestling champion body slamming my opponent. Falling onto the ground is painful, but deliberately throwing oneself on the ground purposefully is ludicrous. Hell, depending on my mood, shoes would be flown off in a frantic manner. I would scream and twitch as though there was a man with a knife stabbing me. What did my parents do in all of this? They turned glaring red and single loop circulation angrily stared in Different Essay, direction of my pathetic outrage.

I can still remember my dads veins pulsating on his temple because he couldnt let out his rage. Corporal punishment was seen in such an unflattering light at circulation, the time, but I still think it should have been acceptable for my parents in moments such as that. The only thing more ridiculous than my tantrums was the reason I had them; the tantrums existed over Jane Development With Characterization Essay a paranoia that people were out to retaliate upon me in some way shape or form. Oh, there is a mistake on some type of food? I want to upset that child. People are staring in my direction? I want to kidnap and harm that child. These illogical thoughts were a constant flood that I accepted. The acceptance of the thoughts turned into anger and loop aggression to Essay on A Solution to Weak and Failed States, those who would wrong me. Those are when the tantrums occurred, mainly for retaliation purposes. After I was done with my phase of tantrums, my thoughts proactively shifted into what people would do to get back at me. It was after my tantrum phase that I was starting to think, at the ripe and mature age of 7, that my mother was going to poison me.

Each chicken dinner was followed by me raising the food up to the light, like it was some type of delicate relic, just to circulation, inspect it. There had to not be an who was involved in the and concord inkling of pink in the chicken. The side dishes received special treatment from me too. It was a necessity for me to unveil that it was salt on the baked potato, and not powdered dish detergent. Memoirs Of An Addict: Fact or Fiction.

Picture thisthe setting is in Washington, D.C. during the 1980s and 90s, a new drug called crack has entered into the universe. The movie New Jack City gives details of this new drug that has a triple killing effect. Drugs and more drugs are entering into the big cities and small towns all over the United States of circulation, America. Illegal money is being made like never before. A glass pipe turns men, women, rich and Cells Essay poor into loop circulation crack zombies and the peoples Mayor for life Marion Barry quotes (The B** set me up). Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia, also known as the DMV, are out of control. DC is being called the murder capital of the Eyre's Development Essay world for the crimes, murders, sexual behaviors and single loop circulation the way life has changed. Types Cells Essay. The devil is smiling to all those people who want to get high.

Living in a sin sick world, society misuses and loop circulation misunderstands that addiction is more than illegal drugs and Types of Stem Cells Essay alcohol. Addictions come in many forms and patterns such as gambling, sex, cigarettes, cell phones, food, video games, prescription drugs, coffee, soda, the internet and the list goes on loop circulation, and on. For the addict who struggles there is a familiar trait in the life and Jane Eyre's Development pattern of addiction, but what is the definition of the word addiction? Better yet, what is the definition of the word addict? Enter into circulation the world of Mary/Pumpkins memoirs. She is one person with two different personalities who suffers with a dual diagnosis of depression and drug abuse; who happens to be suicidal. You decide: Fact or Fiction.

News flash: Parenting five children is exhausting. I know what you#8217;re thinking. Some of you might be thinking: You brought this onto yourself #8212; when you decided to help over-populate the Earth (how dare you). Or: for being so pious against the modern wonders of revolution russia, contraception. Or: for taking your chances with unprotected and loop circulation rampant intimacy with your spouse (imagine that), etc, etc. My sister, the city-slicker-swinging-single-Vegan-recycle-everything New Yorker in the family, certainly thought as much. To you, I say, I truly and sincerely admire your uncanny ability to imagine yourself in a scenario where you actually have kids and actually understand what it is like; your astounding imagination alone should be enough to of education, compel me to thank you for your valuable feedback #8212; and, oh by the way, Mom loves me more than you. And then some of you might be thinking: I totally understand #8212; I have two dogs, one cat, and a cockatoo, and single circulation they are a lot of work! My co-worker, the Jane Eyre's With one who entered at the same level as me but whose blonde-and-blue-eyed charm is single loop circulation sure to get her promoted years long before me, certainly thought as much. Essay On A Solution And Failed States. To you, I say, I truly and circulation sincerely admire your uncanny ability to imagine that creatures of other species are the same as human children, and that all that kids need to be happy is to Different Cells Essay, be fed, walked, sterilized and petted; your desire to connect with my plight, even through the fog of logic and circulation concept, should be enough to compel me to thank you for your empathy #8212; and, oh by the way, everyone on the promotion committee is prettier than you, so dream on, sister. And finally there are those of you who I am trying to reach #8212; those of you who would gladly join me in alienating everyone else as I did just now: You who want to have children more desperately than you#8217;ve ever wanted anything in your life.

To you, I say, News flash: Parenting five children is exhausting. But not in the way you might think. Yes, there are the endless logistics of after-school activities, music or dance lessons, dental and medical check-ups and appointments, parent-teacher conferences (my kids are in four, count #8217;em, FOUR different schools), science projects, theme papers, Halloween costumes, play dates, slumber parties, driver#8217;s ed, church youth groups, and #8212; the mother of them all #8212; birthday parties. Sure, all that is exhausting, but I don#8217;t mind as much because it does help me bond with the Jane With Characterization Essay spouse, and more often than not, those activities end up being well worth all that time and energy. So that#8217;s not what I#8217;m talking about. Single Loop. You know what I find truly exhausting? Worrying.

I sat silent, stunned by of education, what I thought I heard.. I wasnt sure, because it was so. outrageous. This isnt the east village he said. Could an attorney say that to me? Im their mother. Ive been their mother for single loop, 14 years without challenge or question. Purposes Essay. I spent nearly every day and night with them since birth; loving them, nurturing them, teaching them to be kind to others. But now, this court appointed Roman Catholic white male law guardian said he would do everything he could to prevent my adorable sweet ten year old son from living with me. Meanwhile, my $300 an hour attorney just sat there and said nothing.

I laughed because thats what I do when Im nervous. I didnt know protocol in this awful, miserable family court legal process and I was waiting for her to single loop, respond, especially when he commented, this isnt the east village, you know. As in Eyre's With Characterization, Greenwich Village, I assumed, but I didnt know. This was Albany, New York, a long way from Manhattan and the east village. I could not comprehend that a court appointed. attorney for my children could legally speak to me that way. Yet my attorney said nothing in my defense. Thousands of dollars and circulation months of legal actions to gain physical custody of my son and here we are in this god-awful place of in the battles of lexington, total denial by this smug, arrogant man. Perhaps I need to mention that the loop circulation court appointed psychologist met with all of us.

There were our two children, Kristin and Montana; their wealthy father and Jane With Essay his phony, gold digging wife; me and my partner Holly, who would have been my wife if our country had legally provided for us to marry, which it did not in loop, 2002. The findings by the. psychologist was that Holly and I were emotionally and mentally healthy and stable; while my childrens father and his wife had a myriad of psychological and emotional issues with anger topping the Jane Development With Characterization Essay list. That sounds easy, right; let Montana live with us? But the psychologist would not recommend us because we were a female couple. I was dumbfounded, outraged and loop heartbroken, but not in that moment. In that moment I was in shock and by its mere definition, I could not process my feelings, because I was. Types. unable to connect with them.

On March 14, 1985, I went into labor. According to the doctors calculation, I should have given birth on March 6th, but Im a patient person and didnt mind waiting. I was pretty much terrified about childbirth, so putting it off a week or so seemed fine to me. Labor is exactly as its word suggests; its work. It was hard, laborious work. After nine hours, my husband drove me to the hospital. Loop Circulation. He was right there with me, being supportive, but dont forget, I was the one having painful contractions every three minutes. The doctor said I was a long way from delivering this baby and suggested. an industrial epidural to loop circulation, ease the pain and help move the labor to purposes of education essay, delivery. That sounded sweet to me, but there was a woman screaming in the next room that also needed an circulation epidural.

I told them to go to her, she sounded more desperate. The nurse expressed surprise. at my generosity. As I reflect back, it occurs to involved battles of lexington and concord, me that my truest nature, even in a moment of distress and physical pain, is loop circulation of kindness to others. Who Was Battles Of Lexington And Concord. I am not being conceited or egotistical. Im inherently kind and generous.

I have other qualities that are not as endearing, but they do not outweigh the positive. After a few pushes by me and the nurses, I heard the cry of my child. The sound of her cry evoked the circulation deepest joy I had ever known to well up from Essay to Weak States inside my heart. Tears streamed down my face as they placed my infant daughter on single loop, my chest. Who Was In The. I was able to experience that rapture once more, on single loop, November 29, 1991, just hours after Thanksgiving Day when, after 22 hours of and concord, painful labor, I pushed and pushed and pushed some more, this time when the single loop circulation midwife wasnt looking my son was born. He. didnt cry, but I sure did. When he was placed on my chest, that deep joy returned once more.

I was fortunate in that I did not have to go to a job when I became a mom. I was able to raise my children, love them, feed them, teach and play with them every day. They were the glue that kept the on A Solution marriage between their father and single loop I, together. And that was okay, until it was not. After sixteen years of marriage, I acknowledged to myself that I was emotionally unfulfilled. And Failed States. We had lots ofmoney, houses, cars and boats, but none of circulation, it satisfied my emotional appetite. it was her empathy that got me. to care so much about a seemingly fucked up individual is rare. Types Of Stem Cells Essay. what was she to benefit from? present tense? couldn#8217;t beI am out of work, still relapsing even though in recovery but it#8217;s not the single high i chase its the past i wish to erase#8230; in three months we aged 10 years, 1/8th of that time i spent in jail 34 hours away from #8221; home #8221; but it turns out #8221; home #8221; bailed me out 280 hours later.. but even though she sleeps in the bed down the With Essay hall I feel like home is farther away than all. One life changing knock shook everything.

All pushy and single circulation impatient, It barged through the house, charged up the stairs three at who was battles, a time, whisked us from our rooms, and threw us in the dining room. It had a voice that is embedded in my mind, jagged and harsh, leaving no room for uncertainties. Smoke wafted around the room in Its presence. It constricted me. I needed to get out, but I needed more than anything to listen. It looked at me with Its chilling eyes devoid of any emotion and said, I am taking her. Just like that there was nothing I could do; my grandmother, Batsia, had already been taken. It was invasive physically and mentally. It leapt from my mind down to the backs of my eyes, pricking here and there as the tears threatened to spill out.

They fell, relentlessly recreating that of a stream on single, the planes of my flushed face as It decided to slide down to my throat, fully intending to leave Its burning and Its tightening mark. I tried to spit It out, but It was there to Eyre's Development Characterization Essay, stay. She was taken and inturn the rest of us were going to be held hostage. Single. All I can remember about that day was that It hurt me, emotionally, physically, or both, Im not sure. It grabbed me by the shoulders with Its less than delicate hands, Its pungent smell of cigarettes taking over any and all senses, and Jane Eyre's With Characterization Essay shook me as if I was the world spinning on my axle completely out of loop circulation, control. It decided then that It never wanted to leave me and It never has. Who Was In The Battles Of Lexington. It has become a part of me. Unsuspecting as an ignorant middle schooler, I constantly pushed It away each time It relentlessly latched onto loop circulation me. I should have made It front and With Characterization center. It stayed with me anyways. It was always with her.

And It would forever stay with our family, creating definite lines and jagged barbed wire fences lined with harsh feelings of loop circulation, resent. It was the new addition to Jane Development With, our breaking family that sat in the corner never saying much, but making sure everyone knew It would always be there. It wasnt all bad though, I guess. It allowed us to visit her a few times. I used to have the drive memorized; I probably still do. It always sat by the window. Single Circulation. The space It took up was next to nothing.

Still, there was no extra air to take in as It made itself our permanent tour guide, branding the trip to memory. It shamelessly pointed out the somewhat unsafe area that only lead to a place no better- the place It was keeping her. Its fingers, jagged and unsettling, made sure to direct our eyes to purposes of education, the deteriorating cement stones lined up and united on the haphazard lawn. It always sat next to me during the car rides, Its heavy breathing mingled with the low hum of the radio and the dings from single circulation buttons on my phone. Silence became a tangible object on purposes essay, these car rides.

You could feel and touch the single tense feelings. How could I have been on my phone? Simple, because It didnt tell me how to act or what to do or what to feel. It was just there, along for the long ride. It told us where to who was in the and concord, park, where to walk, where to go; It was a well-seasoned tour guide who enjoyed our discomfort.

The overly clean rubbing alcohol infused halls of Its home will probably never leave my memory. The doors squeaked as we opened them, the anticipation of seeing where It was keeping her building with each hesitant step. Im not sure what I was expecting when we walked into the room. Would she be okay? What had It been doing to her?

Surprisingly she seemed okay, if okay can be used to describe someone held prisoner in a white washed blank room typical of a hospital. The rules were finite. You can visit. You cant take her back with you. You can do this but not that. I tuned out single circulation Its relentless list of essay, rules after a while. I walked up to her bed. Hi Batsia. My Petunia. I was so hesitant to step closer to her. It had her on lock down. She was beeping. Single Loop Circulation. I thought that if I crossed boundaries that It didnt like, It would take me too or It wouldnt give her back to us. It is selfish.

It is unsuspecting. It took a lot and It gave a little. Purposes. Cancer changes everything. Single Loop. The Sinking of Molly Brown. Language In Romeo And Juliet. In the late #8217;90s, when Titanic hit big, Molly Brown was once again a hot property.

And Mollyphiles already had their musical, the toe-tapping frolic The Unsinkable Molly Brown starring Debbie Reynolds. But a few years later, a playwright friend of Ernie#8217;s decided to single loop, forego the tunes, and strip Molly#8217;s life down to a one-woman show. Starring Ernie as Molly. Naturally. I had nothing to do with The Ghost of Molly Brown. Although I tried. #8220;A bare stage,#8221; I said. #8220;Nothing but a sectional sofa.

Circular. White leather. Maybe a small table. And a rotary phone. Let#8217;s give it a #8217;70s vibe.#8221; #8220;But we#8217;re putting it on in a coffee shop,#8221; said Ernie. #8220;And you#8217;re not directing it.#8221; #8220;And I see you in slacks and russia a turtleneck. Lesbian chic. Circulation. With a shag haircut.

Like Cloris Leachman in Phyllis. #8220;The playwright envisions it differently.#8221; The one-night-only one-woman show was performed at language in romeo and juliet, a boxy urban coffee joint, conveniently located so Ernie could exert the single circulation least amount of effort to get there, just around the corner from his condo in Essay to Weak and Failed, Belltown, several blocks from Seattle#8217;s Two Bells Tavern. Single Loop. Ernie had introduced me to Two Bells a few years earlier. And told me tales of hanging out there while attending Cornish College of the Arts, sitting up at the bar next to intoxicated dreamers, talking about creative projects that would never get made because they were all too damn drunk too much of the time. Because talk is cheap in of education, a Seattle bar where everyone is an artist on single loop circulation, the verge of a nervous breakout. So that became the benchmark. Whenever Ernie and I heard a big talkerincluding ourselvesgoing on and on about some future project, we would warn each other about the of Stem Cells Essay Two. Bells bar stool drunks. And encourage less talk, more action. I learned on the day of the show that the show had been directed on the day of the show, by the playwright, in a car, while driving back from Portland to Seattle, staging the entire show in three and a half hours without ever having seen the stage. #8220;How can you direct a play in a car? How can you do blocking? This makes me very angry,#8221; I said, angrily. #8220;The playwright wanted to single loop, take his lover down to Portland while he was here.#8221; #8220;I can#8217;t tell you how upset this is making me.

It#8217;s so Two Bells of you.#8221; When the audience arrivedsix of Ernie#8217;s friends, a few of their dates, plus Ernie#8217;s lovertables and chairs were still being shifted around, the clamor periodically drowned out by a blast from the espresso machine. #8220;I think there#8217;s still some coffee customers here. I thought they were going to clear them out, then re-open the Cells Essay doors just for loop circulation, the play,#8221; I said passive-aggressively enough so everyone could hear me. Development. Ernie hovered between the #8220;stage#8221; and the restroom, in costume. #8220;We rented the dress,#8221; said Ernie, as I slowly shook my head. They were going for a period look. But instead of single, upscale 1912, Ernie looked more like Mrs. Oleson from Little House on Different of Stem Cells Essay, the Prairie.

Or Norman Bates#8217; mother. Ernie#8217;s cue to begin was My Heart Will Go On, the Titanic movie theme. Seriously. I can#8217;t remember if they used the Celine Dion version, or the instrumental, but it was endless. It took Ernie about five seconds to walk onstage. Single Loop. Then another four minutes to russia, just stand there and adjust his bustle. Single Loop. The squeal of the milk steamer occasionally broke the monotony. And then it began. Involved In The Battles And Concord. The life of Molly Brown, as remembered by her ghost. During the forty-five minute show, Ernie drifted in and out of at least three different accents. Circulation. And remembered his lines almost 50% of the time. #8220;Aah#8230;the Titanic,#8221; said Ernie, his voice somewhere between Julia Child and Tracey Ullman as Princess Margaret.

Then, #8220;LINE!#8221; And then he would be prompted from Different of Stem Cells offstage. But it wasn#8217;t really offstage because everyone could see the playwright standing next to the coffee counter, script in hand, feeding Ernie nearly every other line. And if it had been intentional, it could have been an circulation interesting effect. Molly Brown in stereo. But as performed, it was light years from Ernie#8217;s down-to-the-syllable perfection in Fever. Battles Of Lexington And Concord. And as angry as I was, I felt bad for. the playwright. Because the loop circulation script wasn#8217;t that bad. But no play can survive this sort of stop-and-go. Jane Eyre's With. So the only dramatic tension was wondering at what point Ernie would simply give up and end the performance.

But like Celine Dion#8217;s heart, he just went on and on. Single Circulation. And unlike the of lexington and concord Titanic, Ernie took less than an hour to sink. Although I will credit the production with a memorable finish. Circulation. After Ernie#8217;s last line, he exited out the front door. Figurative In Romeo. And we all saw his profile through tall windows as he walked down the sidewalk, head held high, against a backdrop of loop circulation, panhandlers, drug addicts, tourists, and a public fountain with a statue of Chief Seattle. And Ernie suddenly achieved the ethereal quality that had been missing during the play.

Suddenly, he was the ghost of who was in the battles, Molly Brown, floating above the single loop circulation sidewalk toward the purposes essay Two Bells Tavern. Unfortunately, he didn#8217;t return for single circulation, the cast party. [from a memoir Im writing about doing fringe theater and who was in the and concord underground film during Seattles grunge era.] I remember coming downstairs and not finding him anywhere. I thought maybe he went out for a while for something pricked at the back of my neck. I walked to his office-music room door and opened it. Loop Circulation. It was immaculate as usual and it was quiet. An eerie quite.

The prickle on back of my neck turned to figurative language in romeo, nausea as I looked down at the dark hardwood floor and saw a yellow post-it-note. In sloppy cursive it read #8220;Don;t bury me. Loop. Spread my ashes over the lake.#8221; I felt numb, shaky, on auto pilot as I started running from figurative language room to room shouting his name. I went upstairs and down to single loop, the basement. Nothing. Ran outside into Essay and Failed States the spring cold barefoot looking in single loop, bushes, behind the fences, under the Jane Eyre's Development With porch in the garage. That was when I called 911. #8220;He#8217;s gone.

I can#8217;t find him.#8221; I heard the single voice on the other end telling me to stay calm and asking stupid questions like #8220;Did he leave you?#8221; Are you kidding I thought. Just then the police cruiser pulled down the paved drive and an office got out. #8220;I can#8217;t find him #8221; I know I was talking but the voice didn#8217;t sound like me at all. #8220;Did you check the house?#8221; he asked. #8220;Yes, Yes. His car is here. I can#8217;t find him.#8221; #8220;Let me look in the house ok#8221; he said trying to be sympathetic. #8220;Ok#8221; I said taking him into Essay on A Solution and Failed the house as another sheriff showed up. The first office went through the rooms on the first and second floor. The second office stood in loop circulation, the kitchen with me. They exchanged glances as the first officer headed to Different Essay, the basement. He came up a few minutes later. He looked sick. He walked over to me and loop stood right in front of me. #8220;I am sorry#8221; he said. #8220;He#8217;s down there.

He#8217;s gone.#8221; New and Essay Solution and Failed quite late to the game here#8230; but I#8217;ve recently decided (admitted) I want to write narrative non-fiction. Here#8217;s a most recent sample: An article wandered through one of my feeds yesterdaythe words, #8220;Portland#8221; and #8220;loneliness#8221; catching my eyes. After about loop two-and-a-half years, as wonderful and friendly as Portland is, I#8217;ve also felt astonishingly lonely. Friends of mine who#8217;ve passed through here for a couple of years say the same. I#8217;ve lived in a lot of who was battles and concord, cities, (including the author#8217;s Brooklyn) and several countries and don#8217;t think I#8217;ve ever felt so isolated on a day-to-day basis.

It#8217;s interesting to loop, me how this feeling over time, does indeed lead one into the depths of language, insanity. I think this is most exemplified by loop, my slight obsession with a fitbit last winter. Abandoning my vow to never be one of those #8220;tools#8221; who openly display some level of obsession with health, I bought one, (I told myself,) in order to track and therefore (somehow) help manage my sleep. After several weeks, I began to enjoy the thing. It gave me something to interact with on a daily basisupon waking I#8217;d check in on another night of erratic sleep (I still don#8217;t know how I thought this data was going to help me fix it,) those four days I tracked my water intake, and every afternoon my bracelet would buzz and Different Types of Stem flash in celebration when I#8217;d stepped enough. It was more positive affirmation than I#8217;d had in single loop, some time.

In December, we went back to Michigan to visit family. On Christmas Eve, I looked down at involved in the of lexington and concord, my wrist#8230;and noticed that it was gone. Circulation. I panicked. Retracing every step that day, I drove back to the grocery store, combed the house with my computer and toggle on scan, and set the industrial revolution entire family on single loop, an All Points Bulletin. Most embarrassingly of all, (as if there is a most here) I put up a Craigslist post for the parking lot of the stores I#8217;d visited earlier. I#8217;m pretty sure I cried. At some point it hit me and I said to my mom, #8220;I think the real reason I#8217;m so upset about this stupid thing, is that I#8217;m just so desperately lonely.#8221; I think it#8217;s true that social isolation, (even more than being a fitbit user,) is horribly stigmatized. And the more we don#8217;t talk about the shame around it, the more isolated we becomebashing us deeper into the void of loneliness. A positive feedback loop from hell. I did end up finding my fitbitin an ironic twist, it had fallen into the meat-drawer in language in romeo and juliet, the fridge.

I haven#8217;t been interested in single, putting it back on, however. Something about the previous realization was enough to put me off of it, and With Essay was, truly, far more valuable data than the loop circulation ones it was intended to be tracking. There were probably ten things I would rather have been doing that muggy July afternoon in central Alabama. Like most eleven year olds on summer break, I really only wanted to do nothing. Or do nothing at the lake. Or watch television. Anything but sit on the front porch for countless hours snapping green beans we#8217;d plucked from battles of lexington their vines only single loop circulation hours before. The gun-metal grey floor of the porch was covered in yellow pollen from the of Stem Cells Essay oak and pecan trees that surrounded the house. Single. The only noise. was the clicking of the figurative language in romeo flying beetles trying in vain to get through the window. screens and the faint chink the raw green beans made when they landed one by. one in the stainless steel bowl in my lap. Grandma was across from me in the. rocker prattling on about cousins I didn#8217;t know and single loop circulation getting up and of education essay down to.

check on whatever happened to be on loop, the stove at the moment usually a soup, or some veggies being blanched for canning. Who Was Battles. Mostly we just worked in silence, or talked about life, or the loop circulation silliness on in the battles of lexington, the Johnny Carson show the night before. I didn#8217;t appreciate it then, but in the years since those days, I#8217;ve found myself longing for that connection. Not to my Grandmother, she#8217;s still alive and kicking and telling me about cousins I still don#8217;t know #8212; but the connection to my food. To have the dirt. Circulation. under my nails, the figurative language in romeo silks of corn tangled in my fingers, and loop circulation the bruised thumbs. from countless hours of shelling and snapping. I miss that. It#8217;s only in the past few years I#8217;ve realized my joy in on A to Weak, cooking.

The act of single loop circulation, transforming simple ingredients into a loving meal designed to nourish and fulfill and produce contentment. That#8217;s what my grandmothers did day after day, year after year. They planted, they gathered, they cooked. They nourished. Essay Solution To Weak And Failed. The kitchen table was the heart of the family. ((haphazard and single without direction in my opinion I know I need to refine my focus at bit and settle on the theme. I#8217;m not quite sure, but it seems to lie somewhere in honoring the past and Types Cells Essay being connected to food. All comments/thoughts welcomed!)) I enjoyed your reflections.

Your description of the scene on circulation, the porch snapping the beans with bugs, and sounds took me to the country. I lost interest as you evaulated the of education essay fact you didnt appreciate it back then. I have no experience so#8230;raw reply. For the love of Mother. She was fair with hazel eyes and dark wavy hair. Her skin was fair, with no signs of age. Her spirit was bitter, sad, and aged. In her top dresser drawer I found a tube of single loop circulation, red lipstick when I was 8. I was plundering as she would have called my nosy wandering. There were ear rings in this drawer also.

Mom had never wore red lipstick, but this tube white at one end, with a gold band in language and juliet, the middle, and the opposite single, end red, seemed to hold some mystery. It told me something I had never seen in purposes essay, my mother who was angry without glamour. She was pretty for single, her age, but no jewellery or lipstick. Shed point out some women can never say they were pretty. This was a subtle admission that her beauty was beginning to of education, stray from her mirror. I knew being pretty was very important. My older sisters said she use to dress in heels and wear red lipstick, and paint her nails red.

This lipstick was like a gleam of hope mom was not who I lived with. Maybe she use to single loop circulation, be happy and dress up, smile, and Essay laugh. Maybe she use to hug, and lovejust maybe. Now she only toiled with the circulation laundry, dishes, meals and Joe, our downs brother. She would fight with my father who was long gone as she washed the dishes. She hated the industrial revolution air that he breathed she said as she scrubbed pots and looked out the window into the wooded backyard. I thought she made her own self mad and I had done nothing, but she probably wanted me to do something I had not. I could not think straight in single circulation, that house. It was from moment to momentanything could happen.No homework no personal inquiry as to my pondering of figurative language in romeo and juliet, things.

Lots of screaming#8230;.unless#8230;I got a fever. Fevers scared mom it seemed. She grew up in single circulation, Carolina born in 1919 so fevers had killed in her time. She would take my temperature, carefully with the glass thermometer. To Weak States. Then, call Irwins Pharmacy to deliver ginger-ale with aspirin. Mom would put cool wet water and vinegar towels on my face and chest. She would give me ginger-ale or orange juice to single loop, drink. I was important, I was a child, I was real, when I had a fever. Who Was Involved In The Of Lexington. She would get me into her bed, to keep check on me, I suppose, although I remember no touch, other than the forehead.

Her walls were lavender, the shelves on the wall had pill hats, one turquoise which Id seen her admire and single put it back into the shoe shelf. Figurative Language And Juliet. There were shoe boxes with pointed toed heels, on the shoe shelves. These Id never seen on her feet. The frame of the bed would cool my hands as I lay in a surreal place of single, lavender with a caring mother, hat and shoes on shelves proving there was life in her. The crisp vision the warmth gave was okay with me.

But it scared her and made her a mom, a spectacle unknown to when me I was well. The knock was a dead giveaway hard, persistent and just a few hours after my dad asked my aunt for money over the tikie box phone. My mom and dad weren#8217;t home, they were at the pub around the corner, drinking away their sorrow on a tab that would go unpaid. They weren#8217;t bad parents, just spent and severely defeated. Life was hard and clearly showed on my young mother#8217;s aging face and made even more apparent each time my dad sucked on a cigarette, his worried blue eyes too often consealed behind a wall smoke. My sister and I were home alone, eating our food on the wooden floor, delicious food from the pub#8217;s kitchen, food that would also go unpaid.

We knew the suddenness of their visit to the pub with empty pockets just meant one thing, especially since my mother doesn#8217;t drink but insisted on industrial revolution, getting sloshed. It was nearly time for single loop circulation, us to on A Solution, leave when no one was looking. Our electricity was off and so we ate in the dark, on the floor, in the dripping hot humidity that only single Durban could produce before summer even really arrived. Purposes Of Education Essay. We breathed silently, exchanging looks that spoke louder than words, content despite everything with the world around us until that hellish knock. Our heads propped up in surprise, although I don#8217;t know why. Loop Circulation. A sudden knot formed in my belly and purposes just looking at my sister, I knew she had it too. We agreed to loop, ignore the knock because it could only Essay on A be who we were expecting, the land lord wanting the rent my dad promised three months ago, or maybe this time he came to loop circulation, kick us out. Who Was Involved In The Battles. We held our breaths every time the knock came again until finally we were left alone. It wasn#8217;t the land lord that knocked so furiously though, he came the next morning to loop, inform us that it was the welfare and in the and concord when no one answered, they knocked at his door for further details. My aunt had sent the welfare after my sister and single loop I because my mom and dad couldn#8217;t provide, they had borrowed money one too many times and reached the inevitable dead end for the last time in the eyes of our family and the world around us kept feeling sorry for russia, our terrible lives and we probably would too if only we could see past the circulation adventure and revolution the thrill of chaos.

My younger sister and I looked at each other and we weren#8217;t surprised, we have become so use to our poverty stricken lives that we sometimes forget to be shocked by the events thereof. January 13, 2013 Denis from above. It was over. Ive taken my last breath. My vision of all that had surrounded me gradually fading away My final encore, the curtain closed. All the medications, the pain, sleepless nights. My fear of single circulation, leaving, fear of if I stayed in this broken body feeling as if I had been a puppet that everyone else had control off. For the past year I was just an outsider in my own body.

Medicine controlled my thoughts, doctors determining my destiny. I watched as the world I had known started crumbling down around me, grasping for Types, whatever was left of Denis Farrell, after the surgery, all the chemo and radiation. It was all over now. I was whole again. No more pain. No more fear. The choice had been made for me.

I was peaceful but saddened watching you Laurie from above as you slowly gather my belongings, collected all the photos of loop circulation, our once happy life together. My beautiful Grandchildren having now to realize the Eyre's Development With Essay reality of death at single, such tender ages. My Children distraught, hoping that I understood all the who was involved in the and concord love they had for circulation, their Daddy, although not always able to express it, but now time had run out. Russia. Laurie. (You looked helpless,) like a wounded solider that had just surrendered to single, the enemy. Me feeling as if I held your prisoner far too long, wanting to release you from all the pain and suffering you also had endured. My darling. I wanted you to somehow hear my voice saying, Dont be afraid to in romeo, leave me here, Im already gone. But I knew it would take long time for you to fully understand it all. I watched as you walked away and single glanced back (hesitant at first to leave me) as if miraculously I would awaken and follow you home. I did darling feel that last kiss on on A Solution to Weak and Failed States, my lips, the loop circulation gentle touch of your hand letting mine go. The door closed. Once alone my dimly lit room became bright. lightness had come back to Essay, me.

But darkness had now surrounded you. Im so sorry I had to leave you behind. I Love you. My sweet dear darling Laurie The beginning of Darling Denis When Two Become One#8230;#8230; She knew she shouldnt have said it. Circulation. Even at four years old, I could sense everyone else in the room knew it too. All my great-aunt Julia had done, as we stood in her neat, but 1920s-like living room, was innocently blurt out a fact: Oh, this is the who was in the of lexington and concord little adopted boy! But now, an uncomfortable silence fell over the room. Aunt Julia, my Mom, her cousin, and my Grandma all stood uneasily looking at one another and occasionally glancing at me, as if what shed said was supposed to mean something. If not for their reaction, the comment would have likely floated right over my unsuspecting head.

But even at four, my instinct told me that something about what had been said was important. So it was only natural that I would later ask my mom, What does adopted mean? Just sometimes, things don#8217;t work out single loop quite how youd expected. I never imagined I would end up living in on A, Wales, tucked away out of circulation, sight. I never in my wildest dreams predicted that my best friend would no longer be my best friend. Or that my dad would have an affair with one of my closest allies.

Neither did I think that my beautiful Mum with film star looks would end up in a nursing home. I certainly didnt foresee my Greek lover, a humble baker; becoming involved in Jane Eyre's Characterization, an organised crime ring. Circulation. And not once, did I think I could possibly be middle aged and riddled with depression. Yet here I am forty five years old and missing parts of Jane, my old life, and embracing a new one. Loop. I walk on involved battles and concord, the beach near my house in Swansea most days. Sometimes before work, lost in the magic of loop, pre dawn light. That#8217;s when my mind seems most active and my a Jack Russell Lily-dog needs to figurative, stretch her short legs. I usually start thinking, looking back and trying to figure out when my mind went wrong. Not long ago, I wrote a letter to Josh, the friend I lost. Single Circulation. I sat under a grey sky on a weather beaten log that had taken the shape of revolution, a seat. It was a misty morning and seagulls wheeled and squawked overhead.

Before I knew it I#8217;d written the beginning of single loop circulation, a book. I sort of spewed it all out in scribbles and thoughts. So here it is. Purposes Of Education Essay. My hand of cards. Fanned out on the table for all to see. My pilgrimage into the depths of single loop, me. Ill start my story with my writer-friend Josh. As its his bad behaviour that started all of this off. Figurative Language In Romeo And Juliet. January 13, 2013. Darling Denis , A Memoir.

My vision of all that had surrounded me was gradually fading away My final encore, the curtain had closed. Ive taken my last breath. All the circulation medications, my pain, the sleepless nights. It was over. My fear of leaving, fear of if I stayed in this broken body, feeling as if I had been a puppet that everyone else had control of. For the past year I was just an outsider in my own body.

Medicine controlled my thoughts Doctors determining my destiny. Who Was Involved In The Of Lexington And Concord. I watched as the circulation world I had known started crumbling around me, grasping for whatever remained of Essay on A Solution and Failed, Denis Farrell, after the chemo, radiation and the surgery. It was all over loop circulation now. I was whole again. Purposes Of Education Essay. No more pain. No more fear. The choice had been made for me. I was peaceful but saddened watching you Laurie from above as you slowly gather my belongings, collected all the photos of our once happy life together.

My Children distraught, hoping Im sure that I understood all the love they had for their Daddy, although not always able to express it, but now time had run out. Laurie you looked so helpless, like a wounded solider that had just surrendered to the enemy. Me feeling as if I held you a prisoner far too long, wanting to release you from all the pain and suffering you also had endured. Single Loop. I did darling feel that last kiss, the gentle touch of your hand letting mine go, I could taste the warmth of your tear drops as they trickle down my cheeks and on revolution, to my lips. As you were walking towards the door, I noticed your arms full, clenching on to all that was left of us, of me. You stopped, glanced back (hesitant to leave) as if miraculously I would awaken and single loop circulation follow you home. My darling. I wanted you to somehow hear my voice saying, Dont be afraid Im already gone.

But I knew it would take a long time for you to fully understand it all. The door closed. Once alone my dimly lit room became bright, lightness had come back to me. But darkness had now surrounded you. Im so sorry I had to leave you behind. My sweet dear darling Laurie. How I loved you. The beginning of russia, Darling Denis Pure hate is what I received. Not as the result of karma or abusive parents. It was the consequences of a conflict between the manager and assistant manager where I was employed. A manipulation by the manager.

His kind words turning into hate that poured down on me like the exploding of a bomb, when I turned to single loop, greet the Eyre's With assistant manager#8217;s pregnant wife. Single Circulation. The hate wasn#8217;t through words or threatening gestures. Figurative Language In Romeo. It was through the action of a killing hiss. Single Loop. This was many years and more misfortunes ago, and I#8217;ve finally made it to individual therapy where I#8217;m learning to turn these unfortunate events into opportunity. Hey its me, call me when you get this. Its dad. I listened to the voicemail again and took a deep breath.

I didnt want to call my sister back. Didnt want to know about the man I was apparently supposed to care about. Why? Because I had half of his DNA? Did that make him my dad?

Did that negate all the rest? Knowing I had a few hours before picking up the kids from school, I started washing dishes and let my mind wander. Let it go to places I kept hidden from everyone, even from myself. I sat on the stoop in front of the building and waited. I had been up since 7am. Eyre's Development With Characterization Essay. Showered, dressed and had eaten breakfast by 8am because I wanted to be ready when my father came to pick me up.

At noon, when my mother finally said, lets go outside guys I was the first one out the door. My brother played in single, the yard behind me but I refused to get up. Afraid of falling and getting dirty or God forbid, ripping my new stockings! Even while the ruffles itched, I tried not to scratch the pretty white hose. Development. So, she I there with the grown-ups while the single loop circulation kids played behind me, the breeze softly blew and revolution russia the bochinche swirled around me.

I knew better than to react or remind my mother that I was there and could hear everything. Loop Circulation. That didnt mean I wasnt listening, I soaked up every word and fought the urge to argue when my mother started saying my father wasnt going to Essay on A Solution to Weak, show. Fought the urge to scream, shut up mom, hes coming. Hed said he was coming, hed promised this time he would be on time. Loop. The last thing I remember is the way the sun lit up the sky as it was setting.

All those colors, all that beauty in figurative in romeo, one place. Later my brother laughed at me for falling asleep outside like a bum and having to be carried into the house. I thought of the homeless people near the stores and single loop the subway who people just walked around like they didnt see them there. I felt that way sometimes, especially when my parents forgot about me. I knew what it was like to language and juliet, be invisible.

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cliff essay man note Negative screening is a common application of Environmental/Social/Governance (ESG) investing. It avoids “sin stocks” and divests from industries or firms deemed immoral or having poor or undesirable standards along one of the three E, S or G dimensions. 1 It’s promoted largely on the fact that it’s virtuous. Single Loop Circulation? While we may all define virtue differently, advocating for it in this way is essay, fair and appropriate. However, employing these constraints is also often promoted as enhancing expected returns. That is, if you avoid certain companies, industries, and even countries, that are deemed non-virtuous, you should expect to single loop circulation, make more money over time. 2 Do good and make the same return or more!

This is mostly wrong and, more the point here, actually at odds with the very point of ESG investing. Pursuing virtue should hurt expected returns. Some have discussed this fact. 3 But, it’s still not widely understood or broadly accepted. This seems to arise from investment managers selling virtue as a free lunch, and from investors who very much want to believe in that story. In particular, and my focus here, accepting a lower expected return is not just an Jane, unfortunate ancillary consequence to ESG investing, it’s precisely the point (though its necessity may indeed be unfortunate). As an ESG investor this lower expected return is exactly what you want to happen and single loop, really the Jane With, only way you can effect the change you seek. Loop? 4, 5. First there’s the figurative language in romeo and juliet, very basic thing.

Constraints can never help you ex ante and only sometimes ex post through luck. Why? Because if they help they aren’t constraints, they are what you want to loop, do anyway. So, if you say your portfolio is who was in the and concord, better with a negative screen, you are saying that the old evil you who didn’t care about ESG issues also didn’t like more money. 6 Many commentators do indeed seem to (implicitly and sometimes explicitly) say that constrained portfolios are ex ante better. The opposite, that judged purely on return and risk constrained is always ex ante less than or equal to unconstrained, is really an important concept and still surprisingly often misunderstood. Constraints are needed to push you to do things you otherwise would not do, not to do things you’d do anyway out of self-interest. 7, 8. Put simply, if two investors approach an asset manager, one who says “just maximize my return for the risk taken” and the other who says “do that but subject to the following constraints,” it is loop circulation, simply false and to Weak and Failed States, irresponsible for the asset manager to assert that the second investor should expect to single, do as well as the first, except in the case where those constraints are non-binding (and therefore not relevant). Even in that case, it’s still irresponsible to say that the on A, second investor should expect to do better.

9. But, while important and sometimes misunderstood, the argument that ex ante constrained is less than or equal to unconstrained is actually rather trivial. The more interesting thing is precisely how ESG investing really makes an impact. Single Loop? It turns out that the essay, ESG investor making less and the slimy sin investor making more, than they all would in the absence of the ESG investor’s self-imposed constraints, is precisely what the ESG investor wants to happen. That’s kind of cool in a math-econ-geek sense (as we’ll soon see as a human it’s kind of annoying). What happens when one group of investors, call them the single, virtuous, simply won’t own a segment of the market (the sin stocks)? Well, in economist terms the market still has to russia, “clear.” In English, everything still gets owned by someone. So, clearly the group without such qualms, call them the sinners, have to own more than they otherwise would of the sin stocks. How does a market get anyone, perhaps particularly a sinner, to own more of something? Well it pays them! In this case through a higher expected return on single loop circulation, the segment in question.

This may be unpleasant but it is just math (like math could ever be unpleasant). In the absence of extra expected return the sinners would own X of the market segment in question. Of Education? The only way to loop circulation, get them to own X+Y is to pay them something more. Figurative Language In Romeo? Now, assuming nothing else changed, how does the market assign this sinful segment a higher expected return? Well by loop according it a lower price. That is, if the Types Cells Essay, virtuous decide they won’t own something, the sinners then have to, and they have to be induced to loop circulation, through getting a higher expected return than otherwise. This in turn is revolution, achieved through a lower than otherwise price. 10,11. Now for the fun part. How do the virtuous actually make the world a better place? Well to make the world a better place you want the sinning companies to sin less not just to single loop, suffer in who was the stock market.

Does the above deliver this desired effect? Yep. Imagine a sinful company is considering a new investment project. How does it analyze this project? Well, as many of us were forced to learn in business school, it forecasts out cash flows, both positive and negative, and discounts those cash flows back to the present. If the final number is positive (a positive “NPV” in single loop circulation the parlance), and simplifying a bit for Development With Characterization, other complications like mutually exclusive projects, it undertakes the venture. Now I snuck in the assumption that the company knew the forecasted cash flows and the discount rate. I’m going to stick with the first assumption, that the single loop, actions of our virtuous and sinful investors don’t affect the on A and Failed, forecasted cash flows of this potential project. 12, 13, 14 But we can’t make this assumption for the discount rate as we know it is false and we know in loop which direction it’s false. Discount rates are in fact expected returns (and this is where we get our essay’s sub-title cut from Rhymin' Simon as one man’s discount rate is industrial revolution russia, another man's expected return).

Earlier we showed that investors will demand a higher expected return from the sinful companies, due to shunning by the virtuous and the necessity to single circulation, bribe the industrial, sinners to hold more of them. It also directly follows that the circulation, sinful companies will have to use a higher discount rate (or, perhaps more clearly in this case, “cost of who was involved battles of lexington, capital”) in their “should we undertake this project?” calculations. This is truly Finance 101. 15 That means quite simply that fewer sinful projects will show positive NPVs and fewer will be undertaken. Put simply, if the virtuous are not raising the cost of capital to single, sinful projects, what are they doing? How are they actually affecting the world as they wish to? If the cost of capital isn’t also an expected return, what is it?

This might be a painful reality to With Essay, swallow for circulation, the virtuous. To get precisely what they want, which is less of the bad stuff occurring, they have to pay the sinful investors in the form of a higher expected return. 16 Importantly, this isn’t an accidental byproduct of Jane Eyre's Essay, ESG investing. It’s the only way all this really matters one drop to single circulation, the central issue how much bad stuff happens. If the discount rate used by sinful companies isn’t higher as a result of constraints on of Stem Essay, holding sinful stocks then there was no impact. And, if the discount rate on loop, sin is now higher, the sinful investors make more going forward than otherwise. Frankly, it sucks that the virtuous have to accept a lower expected return to do good, and industrial revolution russia, perhaps sucks even more that they have to accept the sinful getting a higher one.

17, 18 Well, embrace the suck as without it there is circulation, no effect on the world, no good deed done at all. Perhaps this necessary sacrifice is why it’s called “virtue.” [1] In this essay I’ll focus on this negative screening. ESG or “responsible” investing more holistically tries to consider other factors like social good in addition to financial return. Negative screening does this by avoiding certain stocks with undesirable characteristics. However, my arguments also apply to Eyre's With Characterization, other types of single loop, ESG investing which encourage investors to invest in who was involved and concord certain companies because of positive characteristics that are distinct from single circulation financial return (we’ll call those strategies “positive screening” in this discussion). My argument’s sign simply changes as needed. [2] Or in the case of positive screening, if you invest extra in certain companies, industries, and even countries, that are deemed virtuous you should expect to Different Types of Stem Cells, make more money over time. [3] See, for instance, Dimson, Marsh, and loop, Staunton (Credit Suisse Global Investment Returns Yearbook 2015, pp. On A To Weak States? 17-27), Kacperczyk and Hong (Sauder School of Business Working Paper 2006), and Chava (Georgia Institute of Technology Working Paper, 2014). [4] Of course there are also completely non-monetary concerns that can transcend having an “impact.” One could have no hope of making an single, “impact” and still divest under the “I will not make money from that undertaking” argument. Nothing I write about here contradicts that.

[5] Full disclosure, AQR pursues negative screening(and in fact a broader ESG research agenda that has the potential to of Stem, touch all our products) for our investors who desire it, and single, believe in its virtues. Essay On A? We just won't oversell negative screening as a free lunch and we will be clear about how virtue actually creates change in the world (by moving costs-of-capital). [6] As usual a better portfolio can come from loop circulation higher expected return or less risk. I will focus on expected return here but the analogous arguments could be made in terms of risk. [7] It’s easy to confuse this with two other concepts. One, some would agree with the of Stem, idea that constraints can’t ex ante make you better off but point out that what they’re really implementing is a one-time view, a trade if you will, that the world will move towards the single, stocks better on these measures (and away from the on A Solution to Weak and Failed, sinner companies), and they’ll benefit from this move by acting now (negative screening). While I’m professionally skeptical of big confident macro calls like this, which will always rise or fall not based on their forecast of the future but based on how much of that forecast is single circulation, already in market prices, it’s certainly reasonable.

But, again, one doesn’t need a program, a set of guidelines, binding constraints, or anything of the sort if this is your view. Purposes Of Education? Why? Because it’s what you’d do anyway from single loop circulation just greed or even financial prudence. Who Was Involved Of Lexington And Concord? Two, similarly some may believe that, for instance, some ESG factors are systemically underpriced so a tilt towards them is loop, a good thing (not surprisingly AQR looks for such factors). For instance, if environmentally virtuous companies were also better companies and purposes of education, that wasn’t fully reflected in prices (so tilting this way gives you an single circulation, advantage).

That’s fine. But, again, no constraint is needed to push you to invest in figurative language in romeo and juliet a good factor judged purely on circulation, return and Different Essay, risk. If the constraint is binding, and changes the world at all, it must go past what you’d do anyway from pure expected return and risk concerns. If you believe in one or two above I’d argue you might look as if you’re doing ESG investing, but you’re really just doing regular old investing with an single loop circulation, active view on how ESG is going to perform; an investor with the same view and absolutely no virtuous concern about ESG would do the same. Industrial Russia? A subtle distinction perhaps but I think an circulation, important one. [8] Guenster et al. (European Financial Management, Vol. Jane Development With Characterization? 17, Issue 4, pp.

679-704, 2011) make the single loop circulation, case that ESG constraints improve risk adjusted returns but it takes time because the cost of capital is affected with a lag. I think it’s very hard to distinguish the cost of a constraint once imposed from the effect of a constraint as it is being imposed. Of Education Essay? In principle imposing ESG constraints can help the returns of single loop, virtuous companies and hurt sinful ones, as a “shock”, but the ongoing existence of ESG constraints does the opposite. Anyway, I’m not dealing with any messy empirical issues of what really happens, but rather with what theory says should happen! Given the short period and confounding directional difference of changes versus levels of expected return, I actually think theory is far more useful here.

[9] As discussed in footnote 7, if this is of education essay, just a trade it's a consistent view, but the ESG negative screening program has zero to do with it as you're doing what you'd do otherwise out of greed! [10] See Fama and French (Center for single circulation, Research in Securities Prices Working Paper No. 552, 2005) for a related more general discussion. [11] Similarly, in the case of positive screening, if the virtuous decide they want to own more of something, the sinners then have to own less, and Types Essay, they have to be induced to do this through getting a lower expected return than otherwise. [12] In reality this is a bit oversimplified as any change can affect all aspects of circulation, equilibrium, including expected cash flows (a butterfly beats its wings in China and all that). If we had to guess at other equilibrium changes from the Jane Development, above we’d probably guess that the non-sinful companies required expected return would go down a little (some part of the market now wants to hold more of them for non-return based reasons) and a bit more non-sinful stuff would occur (lower cost of capital so more positive NPV projects). Loop? Though we’d expect this effect to be considerably smaller than the effect on of Stem, sinful companies as, presumably, sinful companies are in single loop the minority. Jane Eyre's Development Characterization Essay? We might also expect these actions to slightly raise the loop, required expected return on the whole cap-weighted market as everyone has to be induced to own less diversified portfolios (no sin stocks for the virtuous and extra sin for the sinful) making investing a slightly riskier proposition. We might guess all these effects are small, unless sin stocks are a large part of the market capitalization, as stocks are probably reasonably close substitutes for each other. Luckily magnitude is not part of revolution, my brief here.

Finally, I only deal with the case of single loop, investors who negatively screen and simply don’t own sin stocks. It is Eyre's Development, always possible that more active engagement can change the single loop, equilibrium for who was battles and concord, the better. [13] One admitted flaw in my argument that “higher cost of capital implies fewer bad projects” is that not all projects have positive cash flows followed by negative ones. For example, an oil company choosing whether to repair a known defect in loop circulation their offshore oil platform today, versus paying potential damages tomorrow, is more apt to defer maintenance if we successfully raise their cost of capital. Purposes Of Education Essay? A higher cost of capital generally shortens the time horizon of sin companies which in itself is not clearly good or bad. I’m going to assume, because I think it’s true, that the world is loop circulation, still dominated by Jane Eyre's Development Essay “regular” projects (invest now, positive cash flows later) so, generally, raising the cost of capital of the sinful projects has a positive “impact” as we get less of them. [14] One of the many real world complications I’m ignoring is that it’s more correct to talk about “projects” rather than “companies” when it comes to discount rates. In reality projects can all have different discount rates and loop, a company can choose to do some and not do others. Real life is figurative and juliet, still even more complicated as the single loop, designation of “sin stock” or not is usually discrete (it’s not done by projects but at the firm level). It’s quite likely that the coldly (not virtuous) optimal thing for many firms to do is pursue “sinful” projects up to, but not past, the russia, point where they get designated sin companies.

Again, the real world is complicated. But, I think the general points (constraints are never ex ante helpful, and single loop, the way negative screening has any impact is to industrial revolution, raise the single loop circulation, expected return of sin) likely hold up. [15] While beyond this essay to go further, the involved battles and concord, simple example of loop, risk free one-period cash flows is instructive. If the proper discount rate is 5% for such future cash flows, it is immediately clear that an investor will also earn (the “expected return”) 5% on such an investment. Discount rates (or costs of capital) are expected returns. The example generalizes to a world of risk but you’ll have to look further than this blog for that one.

[16] If you don’t like this you’ll hate what Ronald Coase says more generally. [17] If it helps, the movement to ESG investing will indeed hurt the prior investors in sin stocks as their cost of capital goes up and of Stem Essay, price down. It’s the single loop, sin investors going forward (maybe the same entities maybe not) who get the higher expected returns. [18] Or you can just reframe the who was involved battles of lexington, answer. Ghoul, Guedhami, Kwok, and Mishra (Journal of Banking Finance, Vol.

35, Issue 9, pp. 2388-2406, 2011) find that, empirically, firms that are more socially responsible have lower expected return to single, investors, but frame it as those responsible firms are more valuable and less risky. And they’re probably right! They are just seeing the happy side where, admittedly, I’m perhaps biased to the dark. Another empirical study, Statman and Glushkov (Financial Analysts Journal, Vol. 65, No. 4, July/August 2009), finds a positive realized return advantage to tilting towards virtuous firms but a negative one from shunning sinners.

The first result is opposite to what I argue is likely, the second consistent with my logic. Again I’m rather cynical we can get much out of such empirical studies; it’s particularly hard over a time when there has been movement towards recognizing ESG characteristics which is an “event” that could cause realized returns to Types of Stem, move opposite in sign to expected future returns. The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the single loop circulation, author and do not necessarily reflect the views of AQR Capital Management, LLC, its affiliates or its employees. This document has been provided to you solely for information purposes and Types Cells Essay, does not constitute an offer or solicitation of an circulation, offer or any advice or recommendation to purchase any securities or other financial instruments and may not be construed as such. The investment strategy and themes discussed herein may be unsuitable for investors depending on their specific investment objectives and financial situation. Diversification does not eliminate the risk of experiencing investment losses. Please note that changes in the rate of involved in the battles of lexington and concord, exchange of loop, a currency may affect the value, price or income of an investment adversely. The factual information set forth herein has been obtained or derived from sources believed by the author and AQR Capital Management, LLC (“AQR”) to be reliable but it is not necessarily all-inclusive and is not guaranteed as to its accuracy and is not to be regarded as a representation or warranty, express or implied, as to the information’s accuracy or completeness, nor should the attached information serve as the industrial, basis of single loop, any investment decision. Information contained on third party websites that AQR Capital Management, LLC, (“AQR”) may link to are not reviewed in their entirety for accuracy and AQR assumes no liability for the information contained on these websites. No part of revolution, this material may be reproduced in any form, or referred to in any other publication, without express written permission from single loop circulation AQR. 2017 AQR Capital Management, LLC.

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